Panic episode x2 = disaster under the covers
Dear DS diary,
Last night my parents decided to go on a whim out to to dinner after we had gone candlepin bowling in Wakefield. I really didn't want to rock the boat so I just said I would go along with them.
I wish I hadn't. It was the 2nd time in four nights we'd done this, far more often than I want to. I did damage control by making sure I ordered a salad and kept the dressing off to the side -- to be used for dipping purposes -- just like I did on Wednesday night. I tend to order a lot smarter than my parents do, but it still makes me sick that when I go out, I'm always with at least two other people who obviously can't afford to go out as often as they do because they're overweight...and my heart is not having an easy time reconciling how I feel about that with the ways I can limit the damage I do to myself (with help from fitnesschik).
Also, I want to pull the trigger on becoming a Beachbody coach if no other reason than I'd get a 25% discount on any programs and stuff I'd get from Team Beachbody that way...I don't have to be a trainer, and I wouldn't need to make a single sale to effectively have money back in my pocket just from the savings. But as I conceded to my coach earlier this morning, I'm worried...I know it would for me just be a side job, and I have a picture in my head of how I could make this work as far as supporting people goes. But I also know that with everything I've done that could be potentially useful, I get into it a little too much, and I really don't want to make it look like I'm abandoning my friends here because that isn't what I want to do.
Between these two things, I had a hard time sleeping last night. Maybe three hours. Had to sleep the morning away. Feeling cranky and scared. :(
Last night my parents decided to go on a whim out to to dinner after we had gone candlepin bowling in Wakefield. I really didn't want to rock the boat so I just said I would go along with them.
I wish I hadn't. It was the 2nd time in four nights we'd done this, far more often than I want to. I did damage control by making sure I ordered a salad and kept the dressing off to the side -- to be used for dipping purposes -- just like I did on Wednesday night. I tend to order a lot smarter than my parents do, but it still makes me sick that when I go out, I'm always with at least two other people who obviously can't afford to go out as often as they do because they're overweight...and my heart is not having an easy time reconciling how I feel about that with the ways I can limit the damage I do to myself (with help from fitnesschik).
Also, I want to pull the trigger on becoming a Beachbody coach if no other reason than I'd get a 25% discount on any programs and stuff I'd get from Team Beachbody that way...I don't have to be a trainer, and I wouldn't need to make a single sale to effectively have money back in my pocket just from the savings. But as I conceded to my coach earlier this morning, I'm worried...I know it would for me just be a side job, and I have a picture in my head of how I could make this work as far as supporting people goes. But I also know that with everything I've done that could be potentially useful, I get into it a little too much, and I really don't want to make it look like I'm abandoning my friends here because that isn't what I want to do.
Between these two things, I had a hard time sleeping last night. Maybe three hours. Had to sleep the morning away. Feeling cranky and scared. :(
Replies
Please get your sleep. Sleep deprivation will only make you feel worse. Remember the isochronic tones/music we talked about for sleeping? Try those. I listen to isochronic tones every night to sleep, and it has done wonders for my sleep disorder/lack of REM sleep. I can assure you that if you get enough sleep, you will feel significantly better.
If it feels right and you think you\'ll enjoy being a Beachbody coach, then go for it. Just don\'t get in over your head.