Pain relief and Hospice
After 48 hours, we are beginning to see some decrease in pain for Bob. The continuous dosing of morphine helps, and there were some adjustments made to the dosage on Friday. We've had 3 visits from Hospice workers within the last 3 days; the first was the admission and the placing of the PCA pump. The second was the physical assessment for admission, and they changed the PICC line dressing and modified the morphine dose. Yesterday, PT stopped by to work with Bob for his neck pain. Bob is so relieved that there seems to be muscle strain in his neck/shoulder and there are exercises and icing that can be done to alleviate this pain. :)Today I'm intending to move the bed out of our bedroom, to make way for the hospital bed. As much as I think it will help, it's a step that is very hard to take. As is the hospice admission. I know that this is the direction we are heading, and have been heading for the longest time, it's just a hard step. Accepted a meal from a friend at work yesterday. It was amazing, just to know that someone had prepared that to help us out. I guess that's hard for me to accept, I've always thought I should be able to do it all, and have been self-sufficient. I like to be on the helping end of things, rather than the receiving end. God will have to work in me on that one, to accept other's blessings with grace, knowing that is how He intended us to live in community. Struggling with the work commitment now. Will talk to Bob today, and want to talk with someone at work tomorrow, to try to cut back in my responsibility there. My daughter's leaving to go back to college today, and she has been helping out around the house so much that I don't know what I'll do without her. Praying for God's direction and peace. The hardest part is not knowing the direction or speed of things to come. I know that this week we will have more people from hospice coming in to work with us, and I should be there for that. I was grateful that I didn't miss the nursing admission on Friday, which I thought I would. Each of those admissions has taken at least 2 hours, and PT was here for an hour yesterday. It is a good idea for me to be around, as Bob is not remembering as much, because of the medications. Went to sleep with a headache, woke up at 3 with a headache. I'm not doing too well with sleep these days. Things to be thankful for: some relief of pain for Bob, the PT assessment and possibility of some relief from the neck pain, a meal prepared by a friend, good communication with Rachel, and so much more.Thank you God, for your hand in each day, as we walk step by step through this cancer journey. I am so grateful that you are a God who will never leave us nor forsake us. You are the strong tower; you are my strength and my song.
Replies
Dear Karen
I am so glad Bob is having some relief from the pain. Thank you so much for writing this journal and sharing what is happening to you. It seems that some good positive things have come out of this too - the fact that there are some physio exercises that will help is great, May you continue to hold strong through all this - I\'m happy you accepted the meal from your friend - Karen - you know yourself - you\'d always do the same for her, and that\'s why she wants to do it for you.
Praying for you Karen, and Bob and all the family, and sending you love and light
Meriel
Darling Karen,
It\'s wonderful to hear that your Bob is finally getting some pain relief. Bless his heart! The hospital bed will make him much more comfortable too. Hospice will do everything possible to give him quality of life. Are they also giving you loving support?
Your friend wants so much to help you, Hon. When Ray was so very ill, we had many meals brought in from friends. I was so very grateful for the thoughtfulness, generosity, and wonderful food. You have such a full plate with work, home, and caring for Bob. I pray that many more friends will step up and help you both.
I wish so that we lived near enough to give you hugs and to truly physically help you through these days. Our Lord is always with you, and He will give you the strength, comfort, and peace you deserve.
Hon, you must rest as much as possible and take care of YOU. Please know that I am always here when you need a friend.
My love and prayers are with you,
Ingrid
Hi Karen,
It is difficult to sit down and attempt to respond to your Journal regarding the changing circumstances in your life, but I must. I understand your wanting/trying to do it all. It\'s good that you are moving toward acceptance of any offered help. That was a tough one for me. When Ron was coming off dexamethazone (attempting) and was in the floor, to weak to assist me in trying to get him up...we gave up and called our friends and neighbors for help. God couldn\'t have sent better angels. There have been so many angels since those times. Taking the offers of food were difficult too, but those of us in this unfortunate cancer story have to know that every offer of help is made by folks who need us to accept their help. They want so much to do something to help us and we need to accept the help, in order to help them manage the terror that it could happen to them. It\'s a wonderful added benefit that it helps us also. Just say thanks. (Needless to say, I\'m certain that is what you do.)
We are having a blessed time of no worsening news and Ron\'s strength has come a long way back. The brain tumor isn\'t much of an issue since Cyberknife treatment. The lung leisions have remained mostly unchanged. We are loving the respite.
I continue to work as a consultant, but only because of the easily managed hours. Being without your job when you need it, emotionally and financially, is a big thing to overcome. Best wishes with that decision.
Vernell
Dearest Karen, You are doing an amazing job. It is a most difficult time on many levels. This phase of Bob\'s life is a critical phase not only in his life, but in yours as well. You are under great strain, so let go...trust in the goodness of the heart, and get the help you will need for this journey. As hard as the hospice time was for me physically and emotionally, I know it helped my husband prepare for his journey to a new life, so do lean on them as much as you need. They are available 24/7. I am keeping you and Bob in my prayers. Love, Linda
Oh sweet Karen, I think you are doing all that could be done. By all means please accept the help, people feel so helpless and WANT to do anything to help in any way. Your faith is an inspiration to me and to so many others. I agree with Carol, have a talk with your boss and consider your options. Most people are understanding and even if they arent you are entitled to FMLA. God Bless you my friend and I will ask God for comfort for your husband and strength for you to endure. Love, Wanda