Pain on the heart is like a ton

The pain on my heart from losing my husband Smokey weighs a ton and it doesn't seem to want to leave.  I feel pressure on my body from the head and my heart, which is heavy.  The longing for Smokey that will never be answered.  I just would like to see him one more time but that is not possible.  If I had one more chance to hold him, kiss him and tell him how much he means to me, wouldn't that be wonderful.  I will never get that chance again.  He is not coming back to me.  I miss him so very much.  He was my greatest love, my greatest memory and my greatest lost to me.  There will be no other.