Pain Killers

Dear Journal, my back problem has been improved by the cortisone injections, 2 completed and 1 more to go in a week or so. The first 2 injections have gained me about 50% of my old self. If it were not for working I would be happy at even 50%. If the 3rd and final injection gets me up to maybe 70% of my old level I will be satisfied with the results and will not even consider the surgery option. just got to wait it out and see.
Journal the pain meds I have been taking for my back will be very hard to give up. As a side effect they have given me great relief from constant RA pain. My mind has felt a new and fresh, God its the joe I want to be again. I have never been allowed pain meds before for my RA because of my work. It has been a mixed blessing my back going out, that pain is great and travels down into my left leg and foot. The pain meds don't really make it go away completely, but its a type of pain I would gladly live with over the RA if given a choice.
I have had problems in my past with using illegal drugs to escape reality. This is different I dont feel so high as much as I feel normal for a change. Is it ok to do this? If I get addicted to them is it so wrong? Dear journal I dont know.joe