page - eternity

I have been lost for a while. The more you try to discover yourself and fix the problems, the more you get lost sometimes. Because you push so hard and expect fast results, but unsuprisingly things don't always go according to your desired speed or destination.. contracry to that... and that's when life tests you and your resolve and patience again and again... and patience isn't one of my best atttributes, but I have been trying hard to be patient. With that, I am quieter, in real life. Barely talkign to anyone. keeping myself very distant and closed.. not saying much.. because some people who claim to be interested in how you are doing they are not really genuine. they just want to take some story to gossip with someone else, about their discovery.. and by that I am refering to close family. 

I find myself alone in this world. no matter how hard I try to express my good will, be positive and welcoming etc.. at the end of the day, I am one of those who just end up being all alone when things don't go well. But I've accepted that now. Fine. what else can I do? you cannot fight destiny. you can work very hard to change things, but you really cannot control the results... what's meant to be and what's not meant to be seem to not depend on your hard work.. it's well beyond your powers.