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my plan was to write a page every day or every other day, depending on whether there is something to put down for the record, to help me discern and under myself more while in a group with other people who can relate and understand.

but just now as I’m hitting the bed and I just felt this, a feeling I’ve had all day and suddenly it is getting worse, I’m feeling trapped! At the begging of the lockdown it didn’t bother me, I was ok about it as it wasn’t anything im going through alone, but the whole world!! And there are people of all ages and some very vulnerable get they are facing the same thing, very likely alone, too!.. so my problem isn’t my problem only.. the whole globe. But today I’m really feeling so claustrophobic and I just had to take a few very deep breathes.. it happened this afternoon and now just before bed. I’m feeling like a prisoner and I don’t like it. I have to find a way to get out of this damn thought otherwise it can get worse, i know how my negative thoughts can escalate from a mild level to extremely abruptly. Not sure how but tomorrow I have to do something new.. or just sit in the backyard for a few hours and not get back in until sunset or something. It will be alright, this will be over in no time! I really hope so.