Out of the closet
Today I feel much better for the first time in awhile. Getting that shit out in the open was really a help. I felt like such a hypocrite trying to keep my secret. I feel like another page in my recovery has been turned. I can now be honest about what I'm going through. I get so scared sometimes that if I tell people these things, they will look down on me, or not like me. It's been a long standing fear I developed early as a child. Some may do that, but the ones that don't are the people I really need. Strugling with addictions is very tireing. Really wears you out. Worrying about maintaining is a hard job. Life can be difficult enough without that. Well, going to make this short this morning. May get back to it later. Going with Bob early today to work. Be so nice to just focus on what I need to do, and not on what I need to get. Thank you so much, Lord. Forgive me for my downfalls, and help me to become better. Allow me the courage, strength, and your wisdom to be a useful person, and to do your will, and not mine. Thank you so much, Lord.