Our lives will never ever be the same again how can they be?

If I could pick the above "Mark this entry as" it would be sad and venting.  I lost my husband Smokey.  My life will never ever be the same again. How can it be?  Smokey added to my life.  Without Smokey in my life, something has been taken away.  My life has been altered with the loss of Smokey.  How can my life be the same when Smokey is not in it any more?  It is a change I did not ask for nor do I want.  No one asked me if they could take Smoke away.  I would have said no but you can take my life instead.  I see couples my age walking down the street and I am jealous because I wish it were Smokey holding my hand walking down the street.  Alas, it is not.  As a wise person once told me, Smokey was added to my life to make me a better person because of knowing him.  I have to say the person was right.  I learned so much in the ten years that I was blessed by knowing, loving and living with Smokey.  I had a real horrible abusive first marriage.  The second time around, I was blessed by a good, kind, giving and generous man like Smokey.  Smokey taught me what a healthy relationship is like.  I would not trade it in at all.   I was always so weak and would cave in a lot.  Smokey taught me to stand up for myself and not always to bow down or cave in.  Smokey taught me to stand up to what is important.  Don't cave in or bow down.  Being assertive is just speaking your mind.  Being agressive is making people go you way.  There is a difference.  Smokey taught me to be assertive.  My brother Don was trying to donate some old furniture to Value Village.  My cousin Esther and her husband John had a truck, loaded it up with Don's furniture and went to Value Village.  They told us they did not accept furniture.  I emailed them letting them their Richmond store did not accept furniture.  We emailed back and forth a lot about it.  They had a disclaimer but it was not very accurate about this point.  Finally, they asked if I wanted a gift certificate.  I said yes.  I received the gift certificate on Friday.  I was assertive and spoke my mind.  As a result, I got a gift certificate.  I love shopping at Value Village.  Smokey taught me well.  I miss him so much and he would have been proud of me.  He probably would have been just as equally surprised that I got the gift certificate.  I thought I would share this tidbit of information. 

Replies

pattiameo
pattiameo

I am glad that you have been able to use what Smokey taught you! More power to you! I have been able to this in little ways, but not something important like business. I too see couples that look happy together, and I think \'You are so lucky to have each other! You could be like me.\' When things were going well for Tony, we used to hold hands a lot. We used to comment on how we showed so much more affection in front of others than we ever saw any of them do in front of us. I miss that so terribly, but I do not want it with anyone else. I had one marriage, but I imagine what it must have been like to be in a bad marriage after seeing my mom, sister, Tony\'s brother, and so many others go through it. I may be having health issues now, I must wait and see. I had to wear a heart monitor for 24 hours so they can see what is up with my heartbeat. Just what I need. Anyway, I am glad for you. Hugs, Patti