Opinions....Am I Wrong?
So, as EVERYONE knows, I watch my nephew. I have been doing it since late July. So for about three months-ish. Now, if I was just a stay at home mom, who didn't need an income, I would of watched him for free. But since I run a dayhome, a home based BUSINESS I couldn't pull it off. If I was to keep him for free it would be losing anywhere between $500-$600 a month for my family.
Soooo I find out about this government program that will help parents pay a family member to be a care giver to their child. It took me almost two months of harassing my sister before, finally, when we were out and about I took her to the government building and had her get the forms.
We have to fill out all these papers, they need a copy of my ID, a bunch of signatures, yada yada yada. They tell her that she should get a back payment in the middle of October, then regular payments either right at the end of each month or the beginning of the next. She will be getting $400 a month.
Now, I have to sign a peice of paper every month saying that I am caring for Julian, and that I hereby acknowledge the income and will report it as such on any income tax papers. No problem.
Now...Heeeeeeres the kicker.
I watch Julian three days a week, 10 hour days. One of her pals watches him on the weekends because my business is closed on the weekends.
Today she comes over and gives me $300....not $400. I ask her 'didn't they give you the full $400?' and she says 'ya, but I had to pay Krystal $200 for Julians weekend care.' So I say, 'I need the full $400....because I have to pay taxes on the full amount. That would be $1200 a year I pay taxes on but don't get' To wich she replies, 'well, you only watch him three days a week...why should you get all the money?'
Normally, if this wasn't government issued and if I didn't have to pay taxes on it...I wouldn't be that upset about it. But I'm really upset. She just assumes that she can take $100 of the money the government gives her, for me, and do with it as she pleases? I sign paperwork, stating that she is paying me the money.
So after I firmly tell her again that 'no, I need the full $400...I'm sorry, but the money is intended for me and I have to pay on it' she tells me, all nonchalant, that she will see about getting me more money at the end of the month.
Um....at the end of the month I should get my first official $400 payment...PLUS the $100 she shorted me. Does she think I'm going to sign a peice of paper saying I got it if I didn't???
Plus, this weekend she is going on a 4 day holiday with her boyfriend, leaving her son in the care of the girl who watches him on weekends, and she is going to get smashed everyday. The cabin is free for her, but the food and booze arn't. So she can afford to travel six hours, pay for gas and food and booze, but she can't afford to pay the extra $100 out of pocket??
I don't want to be a bitch about it all. But it's like she doesn't get it. And if I don't sign the papers saying I got the money, she will get cut off and black listed from ALL subsidy programs offered by the Alberta government. Daycare subsidy, single parent subsidy, preschool subsidy....everything. So if I don't sign it it's not just a small thing.
But seriously, am I wrong here? Should I just eat the $1200 a year? In my dayhome, part time care....she get's 30 hours a week...is anywhere from $300 a month to $450....with her hours it would be closer to the latter. So the $400 from the government will do.....and if I need to send her packing, it won't be hard to find another kid to take Julians place. One that will actually bring me in a reliable income!
Soooo I find out about this government program that will help parents pay a family member to be a care giver to their child. It took me almost two months of harassing my sister before, finally, when we were out and about I took her to the government building and had her get the forms.
We have to fill out all these papers, they need a copy of my ID, a bunch of signatures, yada yada yada. They tell her that she should get a back payment in the middle of October, then regular payments either right at the end of each month or the beginning of the next. She will be getting $400 a month.
Now, I have to sign a peice of paper every month saying that I am caring for Julian, and that I hereby acknowledge the income and will report it as such on any income tax papers. No problem.
Now...Heeeeeeres the kicker.
I watch Julian three days a week, 10 hour days. One of her pals watches him on the weekends because my business is closed on the weekends.
Today she comes over and gives me $300....not $400. I ask her 'didn't they give you the full $400?' and she says 'ya, but I had to pay Krystal $200 for Julians weekend care.' So I say, 'I need the full $400....because I have to pay taxes on the full amount. That would be $1200 a year I pay taxes on but don't get' To wich she replies, 'well, you only watch him three days a week...why should you get all the money?'
Normally, if this wasn't government issued and if I didn't have to pay taxes on it...I wouldn't be that upset about it. But I'm really upset. She just assumes that she can take $100 of the money the government gives her, for me, and do with it as she pleases? I sign paperwork, stating that she is paying me the money.
So after I firmly tell her again that 'no, I need the full $400...I'm sorry, but the money is intended for me and I have to pay on it' she tells me, all nonchalant, that she will see about getting me more money at the end of the month.
Um....at the end of the month I should get my first official $400 payment...PLUS the $100 she shorted me. Does she think I'm going to sign a peice of paper saying I got it if I didn't???
Plus, this weekend she is going on a 4 day holiday with her boyfriend, leaving her son in the care of the girl who watches him on weekends, and she is going to get smashed everyday. The cabin is free for her, but the food and booze arn't. So she can afford to travel six hours, pay for gas and food and booze, but she can't afford to pay the extra $100 out of pocket??
I don't want to be a bitch about it all. But it's like she doesn't get it. And if I don't sign the papers saying I got the money, she will get cut off and black listed from ALL subsidy programs offered by the Alberta government. Daycare subsidy, single parent subsidy, preschool subsidy....everything. So if I don't sign it it's not just a small thing.
But seriously, am I wrong here? Should I just eat the $1200 a year? In my dayhome, part time care....she get's 30 hours a week...is anywhere from $300 a month to $450....with her hours it would be closer to the latter. So the $400 from the government will do.....and if I need to send her packing, it won't be hard to find another kid to take Julians place. One that will actually bring me in a reliable income!
Replies
You are 100% in the right. First of all, you took her to get the paperwork so you could help her & get the money your family needs. Second of all, would she accept a paystub that states she received her full pay if in reality her check was short by 25%? Your family will be effected at tax time by this shortage, plus if she\'s not paying you cash out of her pocket for child care because of this program she should have the cash for paying the other person. If she only plans on paying you $300 every month you should ask the program if there is a paper that you can sign that will indicate she is using part of those funds to pay a 2nd caregiver on the weekends. In reality, she\'s cheating you but not neccessarily the system. BTW I know how you feel, I have an older system who thought i should be the one to get screwed because i was family and \"owed\" her because i was her sister.
GAH!!! She gave me $300 claiming she was using the other $100 to pay her friend, but it turns out she NEVER paid her friend! She took the money the government gave her...to pay me...and took it to party. I am so f*cking angry right now! I think it\'s time to tell her to find another sitter....I feel sick I\'m so mad
Tell her to pay up, or find someone else. That you won\'t lie for her. You could potentially get in trouble for signing it when it\'s wrong. If she doesn\'t have the money right now, tell her to sell something. You\'re gonna have to be a hardass in order for her to start treating you with more respect. If you give in, she will never stop.
She wouldn\'t have this money at all if it we not for the government program. She should be $400 richer now a month which should make her happy. I wouldn\'t lie for her - this is pretty serious - you could get in some serious trouble. If she wants to pay her friend she needs to sign that friend up under the program too. You are a very nice sister helping her out with finding this program and everything. (I have a brother who uses me like this as well - it can get very old and hurtful.)