Open Stars to Our Child

I read somewhere that the reason for Stars is they are openings so our children can look through from Heaven and see us Or if we try hard enough there is an opening that if we look hard enough, we can see through and see our children...how many times do I find myself staring into the sky for the right star so I can see right through them and see Ken. This I do every night when I go out with my puppy. Cold or hot outside I take the chance that just maybe that will be the time.  I stood on the porch the other night staring to find the right star. Oh it looked so much bigger than the rest. I thought maybe this is the star. This is the night just a glimpse to find I was staring at a moving plane.  It did bring a bit of a smile to my face as I think of the many ways we try to find a sign from our child..how much we want that. A dream, a feather, a butterfly, a penny And for me it seems to be a number. The number 3 will show up at really odd times for me. I have seen a huge outlined 3 in the sky when there were no other clouds in the sky and oh my husband saw that too. Shortly after Ken left us I had major surgery. He visited me 3 times in the hospital. He has 3 children. 3 brothers. One day walking through my kitchen on my screen porch there was outlined the number 13. I saw nothing that was reflecting....I guess someway somehow God allows us to connect   It is not the same. It does not give us what we really want in our life. We want our child here with us...but as grieving moms we take what we are allowed to receive.  Our hearts are broken a part that will never be repaired And as time passes and the tears cease from a constant flow and our baby steps force us from the depths of our pain that we never felt we would ever find our way out.  Yet as much as we hurt and I would be surprised if any mom would not remember that horrible feeling the words were spoken they are gone..no no one ever forgets that pain so we take the baby steps and we look in the stars and hope maybe just maybe...