ongoing change . . . .
Hi everyone,
Just thought I'd update my journal. I have been going through a lot of changes lately since I stopped gambling.. changes in how I feel, how I interact, my relationships with friends and my husband . . . everything just seems so different this time. A lot of times I will feel very calm and peaceful and it can just come out of the blue; moments of peace and serenity which were never there with me before. I realize just how many beautiful moments I was missing being in a tizzy all of the time - - -stressed to the max . . .constantly thinking of how I could get to or back to the casino next . . . .it occupied so much of my thoughts CONTINUALLY. I think until you get away from it, you really can't see the way it really does take over. Had a wonderful weekend with my husband and some friends out of state. Another thing that seems to be going on is that he & I are connecting with people that are of a different nature . . . people we can learn from and who are so caring... things are opening up for both of us and this sounds sappy but I really didn't see how much love my husband gives out . . I was just plain and simple - self-oriented and just not giving what I should have/could have/wanted to in the relationship. Well I'm rambling - it's all good but I just had to express it somehow because I see such a significant difference... It always frightens me, though as I get closer to the longest I've been gf - - -it's scary thinking of how easily I went back, but right now I will stay away from those thoughts and stay on an even keel and positive note!!!!
On another note - Anyone know what is happening with Dianne E - I haven't seen any posts, have tried to touch base with her and don't hear anything. I just hope she is okay. She is such an inspiration to all of us.
Take care and big hugs to everyone!
Smokeygirl
Just thought I'd update my journal. I have been going through a lot of changes lately since I stopped gambling.. changes in how I feel, how I interact, my relationships with friends and my husband . . . everything just seems so different this time. A lot of times I will feel very calm and peaceful and it can just come out of the blue; moments of peace and serenity which were never there with me before. I realize just how many beautiful moments I was missing being in a tizzy all of the time - - -stressed to the max . . .constantly thinking of how I could get to or back to the casino next . . . .it occupied so much of my thoughts CONTINUALLY. I think until you get away from it, you really can't see the way it really does take over. Had a wonderful weekend with my husband and some friends out of state. Another thing that seems to be going on is that he & I are connecting with people that are of a different nature . . . people we can learn from and who are so caring... things are opening up for both of us and this sounds sappy but I really didn't see how much love my husband gives out . . I was just plain and simple - self-oriented and just not giving what I should have/could have/wanted to in the relationship. Well I'm rambling - it's all good but I just had to express it somehow because I see such a significant difference... It always frightens me, though as I get closer to the longest I've been gf - - -it's scary thinking of how easily I went back, but right now I will stay away from those thoughts and stay on an even keel and positive note!!!!
On another note - Anyone know what is happening with Dianne E - I haven't seen any posts, have tried to touch base with her and don't hear anything. I just hope she is okay. She is such an inspiration to all of us.
Take care and big hugs to everyone!
Smokeygirl
Replies
Well that is really nice that you notice the little changes in your life and your husband. He was probably always that way but you were too fuzzy headed to see it. There were times when I was married that my husband would be getting ready to go to work, he left at 3 and home at 11 pm, and I would think to myself, I wish he would hurry up and go so I can get to the casino. Mind was always at the casino. Yes, I believe you had two mos gf on the 3rd of March. Whatever it is, it is great. hugs barb
Spot on....it\'s amazing how how clear everything becomes around you. You notice the small things and the big things, and get a completely different perspective on life. You value it and can appreciate it coz you\'re thinking clear and not stressed to the max as you get when gambling. Well done and keep up the good work!
Smokeygirl... you sound wonderful, absolutely wonderful. I\'m so happy for you. You keep up that hard work and don\'t let anyone or anything get in your way of being GF. So proud of you.....
I\'m so proud of you! You sound wonderful!! It is amazing how things change once we stop gambling. We can see things for what they really are. Keep up the good work!! Peace and Love. Patty