ongoing change . . . .
Hi everyone,
Just thought I'd update my journal. I have been going through a lot of changes lately since I stopped gambling.. changes in how I feel, how I interact, my relationships with friends and my husband . . . everything just seems so different this time. A lot of times I will feel very calm and peaceful and it can just come out of the blue; moments of peace and serenity which were never there with me before. I realize just how many beautiful moments I was missing being in a tizzy all of the time - - -stressed to the max . . .constantly thinking of how I could get to or back to the casino next . . . .it occupied so much of my thoughts CONTINUALLY. I think until you get away from it, you really can't see the way it really does take over. Had a wonderful weekend with my husband and some friends out of state. Another thing that seems to be going on is that he & I are connecting with people that are of a different nature . . . people we can learn from and who are so caring... things are opening up for both of us and this sounds sappy but I really didn't see how much love my husband gives out . . I was just plain and simple - self-oriented and just not giving what I should have/could have/wanted to in the relationship. Well I'm rambling - it's all good but I just had to express it somehow because I see such a significant difference... It always frightens me, though as I get closer to the longest I've been gf - - -it's scary thinking of how easily I went back, but right now I will stay away from those thoughts and stay on an even keel and positive note!!!!
On another note - Anyone know what is happening with Dianne E - I haven't seen any posts, have tried to touch base with her and don't hear anything. I just hope she is okay. She is such an inspiration to all of us.
Take care and big hugs to everyone!
Smokeygirl
Just thought I'd update my journal. I have been going through a lot of changes lately since I stopped gambling.. changes in how I feel, how I interact, my relationships with friends and my husband . . . everything just seems so different this time. A lot of times I will feel very calm and peaceful and it can just come out of the blue; moments of peace and serenity which were never there with me before. I realize just how many beautiful moments I was missing being in a tizzy all of the time - - -stressed to the max . . .constantly thinking of how I could get to or back to the casino next . . . .it occupied so much of my thoughts CONTINUALLY. I think until you get away from it, you really can't see the way it really does take over. Had a wonderful weekend with my husband and some friends out of state. Another thing that seems to be going on is that he & I are connecting with people that are of a different nature . . . people we can learn from and who are so caring... things are opening up for both of us and this sounds sappy but I really didn't see how much love my husband gives out . . I was just plain and simple - self-oriented and just not giving what I should have/could have/wanted to in the relationship. Well I'm rambling - it's all good but I just had to express it somehow because I see such a significant difference... It always frightens me, though as I get closer to the longest I've been gf - - -it's scary thinking of how easily I went back, but right now I will stay away from those thoughts and stay on an even keel and positive note!!!!
On another note - Anyone know what is happening with Dianne E - I haven't seen any posts, have tried to touch base with her and don't hear anything. I just hope she is okay. She is such an inspiration to all of us.
Take care and big hugs to everyone!
Smokeygirl
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