One step forward two steps back

That's how I feel about my life right now. I cannot stand seeing Minnie with the cone on her head. I feel so bad for her. Johns going to the vet to pick up a softer one tomorrow. I wish they would have just put that one on her to begin with. I havent slept in 2 days. I hope somehow my trazodone works tonight. 
 
I almost passed out today and John wasn't here so it scared me. I just don't get what triggers the feeling. Not to mention both of us having problems with our phones. Mom has the flu and John has to work so I might have to cancel with Stephra nice tomorrow which is fine because I know I won't want to leave the house tomorrow. 
 
I need eves to stop crying but I can't help it. The cardiologist said I have a long road ahead of me. I need to tell mom and John we need to consider including my car in my bankrupcty. I worked so hard to get better credit and get that thing damn it. It feels like I'm giving up if I do that but I need to be practical.