One of those days.....

The sun is shining, the neighbors are mowing, everyone going about their business oblivious to my deep sense of aloneness and loss. I left work and drove, basically, home crying and talking with Duane and God. "The holiday weekend is coming. We would be making our plans.' I say to Duane. "God, why did you take him so soon from me? I thanked you every night in my prayers for blessing me with him," I implore. Crying, crying, crying. The pain is not quite as debilitating, sort of like a muscle that has been strained severely, pain less severe but none the less a constant reminder. 

Busy...I keep busy most of the time. It helps but the people I am with and the things I do are all just filler. End the end, I still come home to an empty house, empty bed. Get this, my husband's sister tried to put it in perspective by comparing my love's dying to her beloved dog's passing. God, give me a break.