One of those Days
Got home tired and disgusted about my lagging sales. Missing my husband so much. What I'd like to do is head over to some dinner movie house with my husband and watch something we'd both enjoy. That's what I used to do. But now, I'm a widow, so it's me and the bird.
It stinks on so many levels.
Why is the journey of widowhood so hard? It's because we don't just give up our spouses, we give up going to a movie, romantic evenings, talking about a good book, traveling the world. If you lose your mother or father you lose your mother or father. You don't lose anything else. But widowhood...everyday I come home alone, or do something alone, I'm missing what I had.
Case in point, I decided to hang new sticks in the bird cage. I took the old ones out easily enough, but when I got ready to put in the new ones, I realized my arms were too short to reach the other side. I couldn't tighten the bolt. So I'm standing there wondering how I did it the last time. Then it hit me--my husband held the stick inside and I tightened the bolt on the other side. I looked at the bird--it's his favorite stick and I'm alone. I was so sad I could have cried. Then I remembered, I'm pretty good at using my left hand. I'm a right-hander by birth, but I can eat sphagetti with my left hand. So, I did a balancing act and did it. Now the bird is happily sitting on his favorite stick and I've just proved that I can go on without my husband.
But why should I?
Why didn't he pass when I was an old woman of 85 or something? Instead I was 53, young enough to remarry, too old to care to remarry.
So thats my day.
It stinks on so many levels.
Why is the journey of widowhood so hard? It's because we don't just give up our spouses, we give up going to a movie, romantic evenings, talking about a good book, traveling the world. If you lose your mother or father you lose your mother or father. You don't lose anything else. But widowhood...everyday I come home alone, or do something alone, I'm missing what I had.
Case in point, I decided to hang new sticks in the bird cage. I took the old ones out easily enough, but when I got ready to put in the new ones, I realized my arms were too short to reach the other side. I couldn't tighten the bolt. So I'm standing there wondering how I did it the last time. Then it hit me--my husband held the stick inside and I tightened the bolt on the other side. I looked at the bird--it's his favorite stick and I'm alone. I was so sad I could have cried. Then I remembered, I'm pretty good at using my left hand. I'm a right-hander by birth, but I can eat sphagetti with my left hand. So, I did a balancing act and did it. Now the bird is happily sitting on his favorite stick and I've just proved that I can go on without my husband.
But why should I?
Why didn't he pass when I was an old woman of 85 or something? Instead I was 53, young enough to remarry, too old to care to remarry.
So thats my day.
Replies
I know what you mean Truhal..I have said that very same thing,but sometimes life doesn\'t turn out like we wanted it to does it.Hugs Sadie
Truhal,
I agree with you... there are so many things that I miss my Bob for....those are all the \'secondary losses\'.
I don\'t understand it either... but I trust God has a plan!!
Sending you hugs, Linda
Yep...know this feeling very well....widowhood sucks big-time....and I feel the same too young, too many years to be alone but too tired of the training one again to think about starting over.....hope you days get better.....hugs, Sandi
Tru,
I know what you are talking about!! I agree with \"songsofthenight\" too ~~ about \"starting over...etc\"
Hope you the next days bring a smile to your face and gladness to your heart.
Hugs, Joely
I know what you mean. I lost the love of my life as well. Is there another for us or do we get to live this life until it is our turn to pass away?
From DianeB.
Truhal...There have been so many things I have had to learn to do since my dear Buddy left this Earth. I am so very grateful for duct tape and WD40!! I haven\'t gone to a movie alone but I have gone out to eat. I also have managed to develop some friendships which I did not have before. We use to do everything together...but I have filled my time and the busier I am the happier I am. Growing old together is what we all wanted...and it was taken away from us...guess it\'s up to us to make the best of it...sorry you are having one of those days...hoping tomorrow is better...hugs, Ellen