one of those days

So I guess today is going to be one of those days... my boss had to move around some things because she needs to take a personal day on Wednesday for appointments I guess and that sent me down a road I didn't want to be on.
 
My brain automatically goes to well, she's coming up on her 12th week so she had to go get blood work, has to get the ultra sound at the hospital as one of the tests... prick her own finger for the blood sample and the list goes on and on. Then mybrain goes to that both times I was in the middle of all these tests when I lost my children. Why does she get those moments and I didn't? It just doesn't make any sense. I mean she was smoking when she knew she was pregnant. I am going to have to try to handl her taking days for doc appointments and her talking about it when it was taken away from me. Just one of those days I guess...
 
Just some things are hard to get over when it is right there in front of my face.