One More Day
Dear Fred:
Well, another day is drawing to a close. It has been a long time since I've really told you about my days. The past week and a half have been rough.Lot and lots of tears. Some very dark times. Even keeping busy did not really work. I still burswt into tears way too easily. Perhaps this is just one of those back slides I have heard about.
I have contacted all the Hospice groups in our area. Not one of the has a support group for grief or bereavement. Can you believe that? At least I did get some reading material from Hospice of Eastern Idaho. I have been going through tha. Also, Aspen Home Health & Hospice called me today. Next week one of their Social Workers is supposed to contact me. At least they really are tryiing to be of help. I appreciate that.
Today Linda told me she has had three strange dreams...all the same. While she is asleep she hears a voice say, "Hello. This is Nick speaking." And then she wakes up beofre anything else is said. She said she recognized Nick's voice and that he sounded well....just like the old Nick before the cancer returned. I just don't know what to think about this. I would really love to believe this. She has no real reason to lie about this. Also, I don't think she had any way to know that would be exactly how Nick would start a phone call or answer a call. She also didn't know that I had asked him to somehow tell me if he was wrong about there not being life after death.
I don't know if she told me this because she knows I am having great trouble in reliving the last four months of his life. That I cannot stand to remember how much he suffered and how little our fine doctors cared. She may have done this just in trying to help me overcome the terrible grief I can't seem to leave behind. Or, maybe she is telling me what has actually happened. I just don't know.
Tonight I went with Lahni to see a Josh Turner concert. She had 2 free tickets from her work at Majestic Auto. The concert was great, The weather was wonderful. Lahni was sad as she had just received a call from her son. His wife is wanting Lahni not to visit them or her 9 month old grandchild. She is going through some postpartum problems and wants her family to herself. I hope this situation clears up. Lahni was really hurt.
Well, Prince Hairy Fallwell is making a few walk byes and is meow/squeaking at me as it is bedtime.
Good night Fred. Thanks for listening.
Darlene
Well, another day is drawing to a close. It has been a long time since I've really told you about my days. The past week and a half have been rough.Lot and lots of tears. Some very dark times. Even keeping busy did not really work. I still burswt into tears way too easily. Perhaps this is just one of those back slides I have heard about.
I have contacted all the Hospice groups in our area. Not one of the has a support group for grief or bereavement. Can you believe that? At least I did get some reading material from Hospice of Eastern Idaho. I have been going through tha. Also, Aspen Home Health & Hospice called me today. Next week one of their Social Workers is supposed to contact me. At least they really are tryiing to be of help. I appreciate that.
Today Linda told me she has had three strange dreams...all the same. While she is asleep she hears a voice say, "Hello. This is Nick speaking." And then she wakes up beofre anything else is said. She said she recognized Nick's voice and that he sounded well....just like the old Nick before the cancer returned. I just don't know what to think about this. I would really love to believe this. She has no real reason to lie about this. Also, I don't think she had any way to know that would be exactly how Nick would start a phone call or answer a call. She also didn't know that I had asked him to somehow tell me if he was wrong about there not being life after death.
I don't know if she told me this because she knows I am having great trouble in reliving the last four months of his life. That I cannot stand to remember how much he suffered and how little our fine doctors cared. She may have done this just in trying to help me overcome the terrible grief I can't seem to leave behind. Or, maybe she is telling me what has actually happened. I just don't know.
Tonight I went with Lahni to see a Josh Turner concert. She had 2 free tickets from her work at Majestic Auto. The concert was great, The weather was wonderful. Lahni was sad as she had just received a call from her son. His wife is wanting Lahni not to visit them or her 9 month old grandchild. She is going through some postpartum problems and wants her family to herself. I hope this situation clears up. Lahni was really hurt.
Well, Prince Hairy Fallwell is making a few walk byes and is meow/squeaking at me as it is bedtime.
Good night Fred. Thanks for listening.
Darlene
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