one last goodbye

i am doing a lot of contemplating these days as i think about going on a road trip tomorrow to scatter your ashes. It feels like we are saying one final goodbye. Megan phoned last night to say she had an awful pit in her stomach thinking about it. I am happy that she is still going to come with me along with Holly and Leon. I am sure we are going to cry buckets and then hopefully we will tell funny Larry stories at dinner. Although we miss you terribly and i am so lonely life is going on. Your grandkids keep me grounded in the present. Your yard is doing a lot better since i fired the lawn company and decided to do it all myself. kudos' to me! I have still been going out once or twice a week even if it is just for coffee. Most of our couple friends haven't phoned in months. I think my new life scares them. Well it scares me most of the time! I am still crying lots but i am hoping that they are healing tears. thats it for today!