One goal in...now a new one up
This is just amazing, what this site has done for me. I wasn't planning on writing this now, but I really should let it out before I forget.
The last few days, I've had some really immense help from my buddies here (most of it privately) after that horrible trigger from a week ago. Said trigger was very bad for me emotionally...but giving up the ghost isn't in my vocabulary.
I've had to do a lot of talking, but the short and long of the clues I got is this: I have had so many regrets from my past that I don't remember anything that happened as being particularly happy...and that's a major puzzle piece, because if I'm dwelling on what's happened previously...what would I do about now?
I won't name names -- it would be too many -- but everybody who has talked with me, or read my posts, or even if you don't know who I am...thank you so much. It means a lot to me to be aware of who I am now so I can work on starting to feel better.
This means, as one industrious friend pointed out, that I need to find things to smile about. Things that help me be happy, basically.
I'm not really sure how to go about this because I'm so used to feeling so sad that feeling happier is certainly going to involve baby steps. And no doubt there are probably going to be some obstacles left over from the self-awareness quest that I'm going to need help working through.
But I know enough to understand who I am...and to realize that it needs to be changed. It's time to chase Goal No. 2.
The last few days, I've had some really immense help from my buddies here (most of it privately) after that horrible trigger from a week ago. Said trigger was very bad for me emotionally...but giving up the ghost isn't in my vocabulary.
I've had to do a lot of talking, but the short and long of the clues I got is this: I have had so many regrets from my past that I don't remember anything that happened as being particularly happy...and that's a major puzzle piece, because if I'm dwelling on what's happened previously...what would I do about now?
I won't name names -- it would be too many -- but everybody who has talked with me, or read my posts, or even if you don't know who I am...thank you so much. It means a lot to me to be aware of who I am now so I can work on starting to feel better.
This means, as one industrious friend pointed out, that I need to find things to smile about. Things that help me be happy, basically.
I'm not really sure how to go about this because I'm so used to feeling so sad that feeling happier is certainly going to involve baby steps. And no doubt there are probably going to be some obstacles left over from the self-awareness quest that I'm going to need help working through.
But I know enough to understand who I am...and to realize that it needs to be changed. It's time to chase Goal No. 2.
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