On the plane
I write this while I am on the returning plane. Things are good, though a bit bitter sweet but love and appreciation are growing.
I'm finding commonality with others in life, perhaps everyone to a certain extent that we must face a limitation which prevents us from going for what we want or living as we want. I'm finding there's a grace in that.
I’m so grateful,
I was thinking about growth which I am ever aiming for but then surmised that I’ll never be all the things I’m supposed to be. It’s time has past in a lot of ways (57) but also it’s perhaps human nature. Life path does not always have a pinnacle but perhaps it has just a new chapter. I felt whole enough at at the monasteries in Greece. And that’s a good sign to me. Wherever I go, I’ll have compassion for myself. No more masochism that tells me I should stick with something because it’s something I’m suppose to do and supposed to make a good go of things. I try to be a good strong ‘man’ and in someways I am. Just not all ways. Again human nature.
I was thinking about growth which I am ever aiming for but then surmised that I’ll never be all the things I’m supposed to be. It’s time has past in a lot of ways (57) but also it’s perhaps human nature. Life path does not always have a pinnacle but perhaps it has just a new chapter. I felt whole enough at at the monasteries in Greece. And that’s a good sign to me. Wherever I go, I’ll have compassion for myself. No more masochism that tells me I should stick with something because it’s something I’m suppose to do and supposed to make a good go of things. I try to be a good strong ‘man’ and in someways I am. Just not all ways. Again human nature.
From this acceptance I was liberated. But then as I sat in my spot on the plane my mind whittled away at me until finally I was disconnected from that liberation. It was frustrating and isolating derailing. I thought of a dream it had inspired that it yet again was crushed by my limitation and disability. Beautifully I thought back to a few weeks ago when I had mentioned to the abbess (who is blind) that I had seen something beautiful. It was an impulsive act (and I apologized) but at that moment she sighed with sadness and regret. It made me think too that she and I and many must experience a similar thing. It was a reaction I had when my illness took me down once again.
She has a life though that is colored in dimension by her personal make up, as it is and will be for me too. It's a life that has its riches as will mine too.
With that I have patience and acceptance for me and the life I am leading.
I feel really fortified and ready. Xo from 39 thousand feet!
Replies
((((Marcos))))))
Just sitting here sipping my coffee reading …. Not so good with my words today so much … but wanted you to know I’m listening and care
I also bet Blue’s going to be so excited to see you
Big hugs <3
I’m home, we’re both very happy!!
Thanks lil missy!
Cool :)
I’m glad you guys are both happy <3
Glad you got home safely. I'm sure Blue was excited to see you. Take care today.
Home sweet home!!
I'm so glad to read that you'll treat yourself with compassion sweetie
You always deserve compssion
Big hug...xo
Thanks Becky and Janet!
Sending hugs, Markus.
Thanks Nikki!