On the One Hand he'll say he wants.... ****... BUT...

If he would at the very least stick by what he tells me he wants out of our " relationship ", then I'd know exactly what he expects from me. But he doesn't do that at all. In fact he has a terrible habit of telling me one thing, and then doing a complete 360 degree turn around by becoming completely enraged at me for showing him behavior that he claimed he wanted from me.

My key example should completely explain it. 

He'll tell me that for us to be a successful / happy couple we need to freely express our opinions about things no matter even if they don't exactly match..... meaning that we should " agree to disagree ". 

That sounded wonderful to me, of course. So I believed he truly meant it. That was my first fatal mistake.

The very first time, after he had told me this, when I expressed my opinion about something, and it didn't exactly match his, he went totally ballistic ! He didn't simply become enraged, he was bouncing off the walls filled with pure hate ! You would have thought that I had just killed a bag full of kittens, the way he acted ! 

When I tried very softly to remind him that he had told me to feel free to express my opinion completely, he became even more enraged at me ! ... as if that was even possible. 

So I sat there.... crying... confused... feeling broken.. and hated... and scared - since he was throwing various items around, and threatening to destroy even more things in the apartment. I froze, and didn't say anything more to him, even though he continued to curse at me by calling me every possible vile thing he could think of, and then some. Thankfully after a short while he left for a walk. Of course I didn't utter a peep about him leaving, because I was thankful that he did. I was hoping that he'd go for a very long walk so I could calm my heart beat, and stop the dizzy / sick feeling that was filling the depths of my heart, and soul. 

After he had been gone for awhile, he called me. 

On the phone he STILL had the nerve to act like his rage was MY FAULT ! 

When I tried - very quietly, and politely - to explain that I was merely following what he told me I should do... freely express my opinion.... he once again started to bite my head off, and he snapped at me by saying that " All you ever want to do is argue with me ! " 

How can he say that ?! 

I bend over backwards, and then some, to get along with him. Why can't he see that ?!