on edge...anybody?

I am finding that I can't keep busy enough to satisfy my mind.

When I stop to sit down on the couch and flip on the tv my energies 'amp up'

and my mind moves towards wanting to fill my face with food.

I used to ocassionally have cigarettes (over a decade ago) in my down time

and also I seem to gravitate towards having a drink (alcohol) in my downtime

to just deal with the empty space. Now I am seeing that I just need to find

activities to keep myself occupied. It's not really out of want, but perhaps it's turning into

a want. I need to give to myself and so I am, by just doing garbage on the internet and 

such. I need to lose weight. I look terrible and so I will. I need to get fit.

Anyways, I am 'on edge' and I guess I just feel a little isolated or 'odd' because

I feel not normal for not being able to relax. But I have another friend who is like this

so maybe I shouldn't feel so odd and discouraged - I guess it just happens.