\"Old Blue Monday\"
"Old Blue Monday"...that is what my Grandma would write in her diary every Monday. I understand. I was a bit pensive today but made it through. Scott's income tax refund came Sat. It is a very small amount. I deposited it today. It was a bit upsetting because above my name was his with deceased behind it. Another pick at the scab, so to speak. I didn't sleep well last night because my power went out at 11:00 p.m. I used the wind-up clock but was paranoid about over-sleeping all night long. Craig did not sleep well, either. The alarm went off at 5 a.m. and the power came on at the same time. Very strange. I went to the counselor today. We talked a lot about lots of things...past and present. We talked about Craig, too. I will talk to him when the time is right. At least he seems remorseful for being so hateful. Like I said this was only the 2nd time in our 26 year relationship I have told him to Go to Hell. I think, no, I know, he knew how upset I was just because of that. He has been pretty nice since then. He is really a good man. I think sometimes I forget he lost his son, too. We had different relationships with Scott but that doesn't mean he is not grieving just as much. It will all work out, I am sure. After counseling I went to the mall to return a couple of items. Chris was working at the sports store since the Cardinals are not in town right now. He has an 8 game stretch coming up so I know I will not see or talk to him much then. I stopped by and business was slow so we visited for quite a long while. I always enjoy my visits with him. The kids at school were pretty good today. It was easy to enjoy them. The teacher, however, is, and has been, in a feud with the music teacher since the 1st wk. of school. Our teacher is not coming back next year and I keep telling her to just let it go. She has 24 school days left. But, she is 25, full of ideals, and just picks the wrong battles, in my opinion. She is great with the kids, though. All that nonsense creates some tension during the day, though. Youth and drama.....they just seem to go together. Peaceful wishes to all reading and as alway, thank you for taking the time to read and make comments. Ginger
Replies
My heart has joy knowing that you understand how dads grieve differently than moms. I remember a few days after ben\'s death my husband said something so totally off the wall that I wanted to clobber him and then some. But I bit my lip. I am glad I did. This is the toughest trail any marriage can go through. I am glad your doing better with your hubby.
Big hugs
Bens mom4ever
Debi
We do tend to forget that they are in pain to,A friend of mins said the same thing after losing her Daughter,Her Husband was very quite about it But I told her we all grive differently,He did seek help and had a neverous breakdown 6 months later ,I think as a Mother we just have that bond and closeness withour Children And its just different, I was the same when I file Reggie last taxes and I put the copy in his book and I cryed for days after that.
HUGS n Love ~ Caroline~Reggiemom
You are going in a positive direction. I felt good after reading your journal. You are taking steps to help yourself. We have to make an effort and keep going. Love Joanne
Ginger you are such an inspiration to me. I have felt some of the same feelings about my husband, but I know he is hurting too. Thanks for sharing, Cyn
Sounds like you had a pretty good weekend we have been packing will be moving soon we claened out our 2 attic\'s we have alot of junk we are having a garage sale Saturday I hate having then but thought instead of throwing stuff away like we usually do thought we could make a few bucks.We sat alot of stuff out Saturday and put free on them they went fast I had some wicker furniture that we have been carry around for years,vaccum cleaner ,desk,Christmas tree ect.I been really busy keeps me sane.I\'ve been missing Justin alot sometimes I wish I would wake up and believe he is really gone.Breaks my heart.You have a good night.Thanks for all your support and just listening sometimes that\'s the best medicine.Hugs,jfm24,Vicki
Ginger Men do grieve so differently from women. I too forget at times that Bill lost his only son too. For the most part we just say nothing to each other, works for us. To be 25 an idealistic again? No, not for me. Hope the week is going well. Love and hugs Cathy
So true...each person is grieving in their own way...husbands, children,friends...grandparents...all hurting. Our lives require patience and perserverance...love to you...Karen