ok today so far

I got up and noticed that it's actually sunny today. What a nice break from the doom and gloom weather we've been having - I think the sun affects my mood as I don't feel so bad today.
A little anxious but lowgrade.
I made it through my walk with my fiance yesterday and it wasn't so bad. I think it helped that it was during the day. I am hopeful about today's walk since it's sunny out.
I am beginning to wonder if I'm stuck. I got something in the mail from a client yesterday and my fiance asked if I thought I'd be back to work this week. I got quiet and just didn't answer. Thinking about work still makes me feel pretty bad. To be fair, it was a perfectly reasonable question and he didn't press me on it when he saw how upset it made me. He suggested I return the work that I haven't been able to finish to the client, but that would just make me feel like I've failed. I've been thinking that I would get better enough to be able to go back to work at some point. I don't want to think that I just won't be able to.
I don't know. I feel like I am waiting. Waiting to figure out if the wall I have up against going back to work will come down bit by bit with time.

Replies

Chrissy555
Chrissy555

It certainly will. It will return, when your interest in hobbies, and in other things, begins to return. You can use \"those other things\" as the test. The topic of work seems to have developed into a hot button, right now, don\'t you think?

I found my interest in returning to work began to emerge, as my interest and ability to follow-through on tasks at home, began.

Just a thought.........
depressiontini
depressiontini

You\'re absolutely right. Work is my hot button. I think I have always strongly associated my sense of self with work...so my not-so-subconscious keeps pushing the issue when my gut tells me I\'m not ready yet. I mean, I still haven\'t taken that walk alone outside yet! Thank you for reminding me of something that I can\'t quite see for myself right now. That I need to take it easy on myself so I don\'t ruin the progress I have been making. I guess it\'s not a race...

Thanks again. You\'re always so insightful and have really said just the right things to make me take a step back and feel a bit better.