Ok, I survived the visit

Well, we went to see my mother in-law at the nursing home today & she was resting in her bed (great place, they take good care of her) Anyway, no... she did not remember any of us.... which was hard for me to witness but also kind of a relief that I did not have to lie to her. I asked her if she knew my name or who I was and no she could not tell me. Sometimes everything feels so overwhelming to me that I just want to lie down on my (our) bed and just sleep forever.
I feel like this is heart breaking, horrible, sadness, will never end.  What is this?? Some kind of punishment for something?