oh woe is me ....ah well
I find myself so caught up in ideas that define me -
and I realize it's real important to stand on my own two feet
so I am looking for something that I know I can do -
but perhaps I just need to self believe
right now I am feeling not so well at all...
I also wonder sometimes if my illness comes from not liking who I am
it's weird - but I think I can organize my time on my own - I don't need
structure so much as I need to keep going and put the effort into making
a life for myself
yesterday I felt like my Dad didn't like me - and it makes me sad..I realize though
I need to create a life for myself with people in it - where we love each other.
each sibling in the family has to create their own life with a family of friends that surround
them. I just don't feel well right now - like my mind is grinding away leaving me feeling
just depressed and not so in control. This too shall pass. I know I can get to washing the dishes
and straightening up the apartment.
Replies
Big squishy hug sweetie...… You have a difficult illness Marky..... It can make things hard to bear for sure at times.... I know how hard mine can be at times and I also know you have it worse my friend
Re your dad not liking you... I think that we can all get a little bitchy or moody at times and that is within us ….. You've talked about your family before and I think that they love you dearly
I hope that you'll feel better soon.....xo
thanks Jan. I was noticing that bitchyness in me yesterday - and then I noticed it in my Dad as well.
I didn't know what to do with that thought - but I guess it is what it is. We can all go there sometimes.
Maybe playing off of each other..... Dan and I do that on occasion as well..... Tis human I think...… xo
Thanks Jan!!
No matter how much I love somebody, I have yet to be able to like everything about anybody. It's hard not to be blunt about the parts I don't like on my woofin' days. Woofity woof and an arfie arf, too. . . Sigh. . . I try to wear my love like an armor and carry forgiveness as a shield.
thanks arfie!!
You sound very overwhelmed. I hear my sister saying deep breath when I’m in these situations. You’re thinking your Dad didn’t like you. What about your Mom? You’re building your life now, like everyone else. I’m guessing you want positivity in it so I suggest focusing on that, like I’m currently working on.
thanks SBG!