Oh NO! Not again...

One of my best friends birthday and we are meeting another friend to go for a dinner and movie to celebrate (again in the city 45 minutes away). This almost sounds like a repeat...

During dinner, my heart started racing. I had just been in the hospital 2 days before (Feb.22nd). I thought, wrongly so it seems, that my heart would slow down, so I ate little and tried to concentrate on the conversation. By the time we left the resturant and headed to the movie I was trying to rationalize my fears. At some point, you have to wonder if what is happening is because of a panic attack. I wondered that in January, and February 22nd. I don't have panic attacks, but from what I understand, it can happen to anyone at any time. So, is this what was making my heart go into A-fib? 

I had not told my friends that I have been experiencing any difficulties with my heart. I didn't want them to worry, especially since I didn't know for sure if there was anything to worry about. When we got to the movie theatre, I had to come clean. I didn't know if I could sit through the movie, or if I needed medical attention again. I made a decision and asked my friend to take me to the emergency at the nearest hospital.

A blessing in disguise. Not for my friend. She ended up celebrating her birthday with me, but in the ER. Another long night, but this time, I had to wait, a lot. They finally hooked me up to a cardiograph, and of course my heart had stopped racing. The racing and shortness of breath would come and go. After the 2nd cardiograph, a nurse just happened to stop and talk to me. At that point my heart started racing again and I became short of breath. She observed me and had me sit down next to her until she could get a doctor to see me. Again, no pain. What she said was that I was experiencing typical A-Fib symptoms. My blood pressure was extremely high, my heart was racing, and I had trouble breathing. It was never picked up on the cardiograph.

When I finally was able to see a doctor, well, that's where the blessing began. The doctor observed me, had blood test taken, took my history, and listened to my heart.

She heard a murmur. No one has ever indicated that I might have a heart murmur. I tend to stay with the same family doctor as long as I can, and never had a doctor indicated that I had a murmur. I was shocked.

The ER doctor had taken my history and she said I needed to see a cardiologist, and to make sure I asked about the murmur so an echocardiograph would be done. She asked if I wanted to wait for the cardiologist's office in my home town to finally call me, or if I wanted her to book an appointment with their Emergency Care cardiologist. Of course, I had lost faith in getting in to the office I had originally "supposedly" been referred to. I chose to let her make the appointment. This was Friday, February 24th. My appointment was booked for March 8, just over a week later!

The cardiologist booked an echocardiograph and another 48 hour monitor, eight days later. I was back to see a cardiologist for the results the following week (the original cardiologist was actually out of town, but he had one of his team take his appointments).

So I met another cardiologist, and part of her team. 

On the plus side, the 48 hour halter showed nor irregularities in the results, at least nothing that was of concern.

They explained I have a bicuspid valve, and that it was something that happens in the womb. It runs in families and after years of working hard to keep you going, it starts to calcify. It also can contribute to the patient having an aneurysm. The valve will need to be replaced.

I have a aortic root aneurysm. I was told that normally they like to do surgery for repair when the aneurysm is between 4.7 cm and 5.1 cm. My aneurysm is 5.7 cm. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I was alone to hear this news, and so I think I was in self protection mode. The information went over my head. 

My cousin had come with me for the drive, and to spend some time together. So, we went out for lunch, did a little shopping, and then went home.

It wasn't until I was home that the seriousness of the situation hit me. 

I was sent home without any instructions, what I should do, or not do, or when I should seek medical attention. So, what do you do when you don't have any information? You look on the internet to find out what is going on with your body. I know, I know, that is the worst thing to do! But you see, I know that information on the internet is not always correct, and that you shouldn't rely on the information in your own situation. Well, just becaue I did know that, doesn't mean that what I was reading wasn't scaring the heck out of me!

I looke for support groups. Somewhere I could share my fears, ask questions, find out about others' experiences. I don't want to make my family worry over me. That's not fair. I share my specific concerns, but what was going on in my brain at that time was just crazy fear.

My husband works 12 hour shifts - 7 pm to 7 am - on a Continential rotation. So, I am home alone many nights through the night. I am terrified something will happen to me when he isn't here - I am terrified something will happen to me when he IS here. Totally irrational, right?

Well, that was a Friday that I found out about my aneurysm. On Sunday, part way through the night, I woke up sweating, heaviness in my chest, nausea, shortness of breath, both arms tingling. I called 911 for the first time in my life.

I was transported to the hospital. Again, more blood tests, monitors, etc. I was sent home early in the morning. I arrived home just before my husband did. Thankfully. If I was gone, my vehicle home and tire tracks in our front lawn (from the ambulance), I am sure there would have been one concerned man. Especially if the neighbours came to see why the ambulance was at our house through the night.

Later, I even had the nerve to ask him if he was worried he would come home in the morning and find that I had succumbed to my aneurysm. He said no, he has to believe in the doctors. I can tell you though, I would be scared if the tables were turned. 

I am so fortunate to have him in my life. Sometimes, he just grounds me. He helps me keep my sanity when I am at risk of losing it. We have been blessd with an incredible marriage, and I am so grateful for that.