Oh My God
My Brother just isn't getting it. After going to my sisters residence yesterday the day after he was told he can't just go over there whenever he wants and calling me to get my sister's councilors name so he can talk to her (and I presume did since she called me and told me about him going over there) he shows up this morning with his laundry and does it there.
I'm starting to wonder what is wrong with him. Is he ignoring what is being said or still does not understand what he is doing.
Then he calls and asks if I am going over there today and I told him I didn't know I might go over to watch TV with her tonight and he lays a guilt trip on me about how she just had a seizure and shouldn't be alone. Like I wasn't there and haven't been staying with her for the last eight days straight while he was doing whatever the heck he wanted to do and only came by there when he wanted something, didn't call to see how she was or anything.
I'm trying to let her get used to being alone, trying to stay away and let her get accustomed to what is going to be her life from now on. Even tho it worries me and I stress over it, it is what her caretakers say she is capable of and what is best for her. People there can't help her other than spoil her and make her less self sufficient than she can and should be.
I talk to her and she says she is doing alright. She doesn't sound scared or sad or even really alone. Other than a few minutes her and there when she talked to my mother or father she was pretty much alone and talking care of herself at that house for the last two to three years. My father was more a burden than any help except for a few minutes my sister would talk or pray with him at night and my mother could not get up and do anything for her anymore and was only someone she would talk to when she wanted something or for a half hour here and there about what was going on in the news.
She doesn't need to have anyone there with her all the time.
Do I feel a little guilty? Yes.
Do I want time to myself and not worry about things or her? Yes.
Do I worry about her? Yes.
But none of that changes that what I am doing is what is needed and what is best for myself and in time for her.
I want my brother to leave us alone. He is really confused and does not know what is going on or does not understand it and is making irrational and emotional decisions that are hurting all of us and himself. Or perhaps they are not irrational but are to suit him and get him to where he can get as much advantage over the situation as he can so he can be in control and have everything he wants. He might just be looking for the angle that helps him the best.
I'm starting to wonder what is wrong with him. Is he ignoring what is being said or still does not understand what he is doing.
Then he calls and asks if I am going over there today and I told him I didn't know I might go over to watch TV with her tonight and he lays a guilt trip on me about how she just had a seizure and shouldn't be alone. Like I wasn't there and haven't been staying with her for the last eight days straight while he was doing whatever the heck he wanted to do and only came by there when he wanted something, didn't call to see how she was or anything.
I'm trying to let her get used to being alone, trying to stay away and let her get accustomed to what is going to be her life from now on. Even tho it worries me and I stress over it, it is what her caretakers say she is capable of and what is best for her. People there can't help her other than spoil her and make her less self sufficient than she can and should be.
I talk to her and she says she is doing alright. She doesn't sound scared or sad or even really alone. Other than a few minutes her and there when she talked to my mother or father she was pretty much alone and talking care of herself at that house for the last two to three years. My father was more a burden than any help except for a few minutes my sister would talk or pray with him at night and my mother could not get up and do anything for her anymore and was only someone she would talk to when she wanted something or for a half hour here and there about what was going on in the news.
She doesn't need to have anyone there with her all the time.
Do I feel a little guilty? Yes.
Do I want time to myself and not worry about things or her? Yes.
Do I worry about her? Yes.
But none of that changes that what I am doing is what is needed and what is best for myself and in time for her.
I want my brother to leave us alone. He is really confused and does not know what is going on or does not understand it and is making irrational and emotional decisions that are hurting all of us and himself. Or perhaps they are not irrational but are to suit him and get him to where he can get as much advantage over the situation as he can so he can be in control and have everything he wants. He might just be looking for the angle that helps him the best.
Replies
This is the first day I have had that I didn\'t have to do anything. I wanted to jsut veg relax, be alone. Before this situation I am in started I could go as much as two weeks without getting a phone call. I got nine phone calls today. I hate phones and the abruptness of their ring but am afraid to turn them off and miss something that may be very important.
I just want to be left alone and recollect myself before I have to deal with the next thing.
I have to take my dad with Alzheimer\'s to a doctor appointment tomorrow so am not sure how much peace I will get. Maybe if it is all I have to do it will be an ok day.
I know I will never be able to be completely left alone like before not with the new responsibilities I have been given but I\'d like to be left alone, not bothered, as much as possible.