oh fun....
my boss hates me. and my H is moving out today. But hey, I'm very flexible for a 49 year old and have great hair! lol.
Anyway, I was thinking how much I needed to talk to someone about my horrible day at work. I have always been the golden girl at work, and lately my boss has been cirticizing everything I do. I can't understand it but it is the LAST thing I need right now. No one at work knows what I've gone through the past 3.5 weeks. Anyway, i did end up telling my husband. Just had to vent to someone. BTW, I think he's moving out today, but I am not sure it's EVER goig to really happen. He is doing his laundry so I guess that is a good sign that he's getting ready to pack.
I told him once he's gone we'll meet up in about a week or 10 days, and he said, "you mean you're not going to come see my place?" I'm not sure he gets the meaning of separation. I shake my head....
Anyway, I was thinking how much I needed to talk to someone about my horrible day at work. I have always been the golden girl at work, and lately my boss has been cirticizing everything I do. I can't understand it but it is the LAST thing I need right now. No one at work knows what I've gone through the past 3.5 weeks. Anyway, i did end up telling my husband. Just had to vent to someone. BTW, I think he's moving out today, but I am not sure it's EVER goig to really happen. He is doing his laundry so I guess that is a good sign that he's getting ready to pack.
I told him once he's gone we'll meet up in about a week or 10 days, and he said, "you mean you're not going to come see my place?" I'm not sure he gets the meaning of separation. I shake my head....
Replies
Umm, y eah, I think 7-10 days doesn\'t really qualify as a separation. Typically it\'s at least a month. If you can\'t stand it that long, at least make it 3 weeks minimum. And as far as confiding in H, regarding work issues, a big no no, if you are interested in doing the \"180\" on him. YOu are no longer available emotionally to him, for him, nor should you try to count on him.
Hold off, cupcake on this, and see what a difference it will make! REad up on the 180 right away, just search the topic h ere! The way you sound, is like nothing is that different except he has his own place now. And above all, refrain from contacting him over the phone, texting, emails, etc. all the 180 way. It has worked remarkable wonders for hundreds of people here, myself included. Otherwise, you\'ll land up with a mini-vacation of sorts, and go right back to ground zero where you left off. And you\'ll show him once again, how to treat you, like a doormat! Since he\'s done this before and before, and what did you do? Talk and squawk a bit, and took home your little son, little boy, who knows mama will love him, forgive him, and even defend him ....like some of those Mom\'s who defend their murderous sons, and refuse to admit, that he is basically murdering your marriage.
But keep journaling, it\'s very therapeutic, but not as good as a counselor! Ideally, would be good to do both! And you\'ll get many insights here, and hopefully make some friends, and develop a little support group. YOu may also want to consider a \"real life\" support group! YOu mentioned chumplady? Very honest direct advice, for sure, but not certain you are ready to really follow that, not y et anyways!!! I know it\'s confusing, but that\'s why you run to the counselor of your choice, which you have interviewed and hand selected, from a group of them who have expertise in infidelity. Notice I\'m not talking divorce...right now....cuz you need to sort so much out, just as he does, and you do have kids! But, if you don\'t try something different, you\'ll be one of those people who land up hitting their head against the wall, and wonder why they are going crazy, and expecting something new, even though they haven\'t done a new course of action. And incidentally, it\'s not surprising that you are having problems at work...pretty typical when your world is being turned upside down! Yeah, counseling would help to balance that, and you can ask for tips on that too, since ou probably need to maintain your job, regardless or marital outcome! Right?