OH BOY!!!

well I did it again I let my medication run out, My herpes meds. And I got an outbreak to kill. I can barely sit and I'm annoyed. I called in the prescription on Friday and they don't have any until Monday after 1pm . I'll get them b4 I get the kids. LOL! No really I will this is no laughing matter. I feel like shit each and every time I get an outbreak, which is not alot but still I do. I shouldn't be punish for someone else's sins. This is a nasty diease and it's shameful and all of the above. I found an old remedy book and it suggested baking soda and warm water. I did it and it felt good for the moment but I feel like shit as I write this. I get off work at 330 and I get home at 400 so therefore I should have my meds by 359. LOL!!!!  Anyway, that guy M.P. is really jocking me hard and I want to chill with him but I know what he wants and even if I wanted to do it now is not the time. I really want to chill and hang out. Oh well, after I get my meds I'll see what's he's about. Also he felt like I was brushing him off but I couldn't tell him about the outbreak. He does know that I have herpes and I like that and the way he handle the news and the mere fact that you want to have sex is nice:) But too soon. I spoke to Dor and he seems okay, but he has nothing going for himself. He does not seem motivated.And that got me to thinking about all the men in my life. None of them have anything going for themselves.  I don't know why I attract there sort of men. Am I too masculine? Do I need to be in control so much that having a powerful man would be too much? Although, I realized that I now require a forceful and powerful man!! Not a woman beater, just someone that can handle my  strong personality. I'm tired of making all the decisions in the house. Having too working heads is better than having two and only one is working. ( I hope I said that right, whew)  anyway that's it for now, I need to find a theapist. I don't really have anything to say but just want that safety net.