NYE in Denver

I woke up early this morning 6:30am to meet the comcast man somewhere in between 7-8am. They're not here yet and I do hope they do come since the tv with problems is my dads bedroom and I don't want him to have to deal with it for a long period of time.  I volunteer at the museum and there is this one employee who has got to be my father's age; he found me on facebook and noticed that I was interested in men. So he sent me an email to tell me that he had the same interests and wanted to get something to eat. Now it creeps me out to go into the museum and see him. I responded to his email and told him in a nice way that I hope he's not coming on to me. He's a really nice guy and I enjoy talking to him, however, I don't want to make the situation uncomfortable.  OK and the comcast person is here. I thought they were supposed to call prior to arrival but that doesn't matter now. He is running tests on the cable upstairs. Again, I am getting excited to see Dr. Power this afternoon. I hope to get that prescription for nausea. Last night after dinner I felt so sick that I swore I was going to throw up. I can't go through with this anymore, I hate feeling sick all of the time, I even get sick because I obsess about getting sick... it's a horrible vicious cycle which I can't seem to overcome.  Just like last night I am still obsessing about the champaign. I want a wonderful bottle even if it means that I have to keep it hidden in the closet with all of my other wines and champaign. I don't know why I keep thinking about this, it really doesn't even matter, I simply obsess about everything.  Speaking of which, Rachael, my former friend is getting married. She is going to look at wedding plans with another friend of mine in California. It make me sick that she will not be my friend unless I apologize to her boyfriend. When I attempt to apologize to him, he told me that I couldn't apologize to him until after the new year. I think this entire situation is bazar and mean. Rachael has been a friend for about15 years now and she just cuts it off for her own benefit with her boyfriend. I have let all of it go, I don't want to deal with it anymore. It's a negative situation that I can't allow myself to participate in anymore. I am just moving on. It's hurtful, but I am just moving on.  I am a huge fan of Starbucks Coffee. I go almost every morning for coffee. I used to have the Starbucks Black card which just got me around 10% off of my purchases. They sent me this beautiful gold card with my name on it and everything. It gives me a good discount, free internet time, refills on coffee and tea, and free syrup additives. I don't know why this is significant enough to record in a journal, but maybe someday I will read this and find it very interesting that this was so significant to me.  Wow, it's only 8:30am, I need to pack for tonight, for I will be staying with my mom for NYE! I wonder if I am going to be able to stay up until midnight to reign in the new year. For the past couple of years I have been to ill to stay up until midnight. I haven't been to a NYE party in years, I suppose that shows just how many friends I really have. Next semester in school I am hoping to meet some people that would become friends. I am taking four classes which will be the first time in two and a half years that I take close to a full load and I am getting somewhat nervous about going back to school with such a great deal of work. I suppose that I will just have to take my time and put a lot of work into my school work. I want to have a good education and begin a wonderful career and maybe someday run for state house or senate. I believe in people and I hope they'll believe in me.  I've come to understand different difficulties in life that people may, and hopefully, will never face. I just seem to have learned something new, something different and unique. I must learn how to control this disease and not allow it to interrupt my life. With powerful medications and good therapy I may be able to overcome this current situation. I must say that it is beginning to work, I am feeling better and I'm excited about simple things like school and NYE and champaign and getting a job. I need to look forward to getting a job and I will. I keep applying and I never get anything back. All the jobs that I try to apply to require an online application. But, I never know where the application goes from there. I worked for Blockbuster for sometime and whenever an internet application came in it simply printed out on the store's printer and it was up to the manager to either take it seriously or to chuck it. In my opinion my application have been constantly chucked. Even Macy's told me that I am not a good fit for their store... and I have worked retail for years. I don't know what's going on. I am going to pack and figure out something to do until two.