Novel experience
So I had a novel experience last night. For the first time since this all started I felt...indifference.
During lunch I'd been quipping by text with a friend when they exceeded their text limit so they called instead and we continued the conversation via voice instead. It was fun and entertaining and just so blessedly *normal* and I felt really good afterwards. A smile on my face and if not a song in my heart, there were at least a few notes of the beginning of a melody.
Half an hour later when she came elephant stomping past to the breakroom I didn't even consciously register that it was her until she was on her way back out again. At which point I glanced up, noticed who it was and... didn't care, I felt indifferent. Shocked me so much that I quite forgot to glare at her. LOL And then I spent a couple minutes savoring the sensation of feeling indifference again.
Oh sure, it wore thin later and the resentment started to seep back but it was there. And if it was there once, it will be again. And again. And eventually it will stay longer and longer until it becomes a habit. And some day it may even be a real boy...er, emotion. LOL
It's kind of nice to feel good about something. I think I like it. ;)
During lunch I'd been quipping by text with a friend when they exceeded their text limit so they called instead and we continued the conversation via voice instead. It was fun and entertaining and just so blessedly *normal* and I felt really good afterwards. A smile on my face and if not a song in my heart, there were at least a few notes of the beginning of a melody.
Half an hour later when she came elephant stomping past to the breakroom I didn't even consciously register that it was her until she was on her way back out again. At which point I glanced up, noticed who it was and... didn't care, I felt indifferent. Shocked me so much that I quite forgot to glare at her. LOL And then I spent a couple minutes savoring the sensation of feeling indifference again.
Oh sure, it wore thin later and the resentment started to seep back but it was there. And if it was there once, it will be again. And again. And eventually it will stay longer and longer until it becomes a habit. And some day it may even be a real boy...er, emotion. LOL
It's kind of nice to feel good about something. I think I like it. ;)
Replies
good for you. very cool....keep it up.
Woot woot! Bet she missed that attention. ;) Even if it is negative. You go girl. So happy for you! You deserve freedom from that crap when you are at work, I am applauding you. BIG HUG and Congrats!