Nothing much

Well there is not much to say because I haven't been doing much of nothing.  I have been in a deep depression and I just don't see my way out of it right now.  Here it is Saturday night and I'm miserable because I don't feel like doing anything and I'm bored all at the same time.  Next week is full of doc appts, cat scans and therapy sessions, so maybe I will come out next week feeling better.  I'm suppose to go back to work on the 14th, the place I'm working is shutting down and closing by march 31st so it seems pointless to have to return just for that. 
I really don't care.  I don't care much about anything...I just want and need some peace, just for a little while at least to get some relief.  Seems like this is lasting forever.  My depressions didn't always last this long...I use to actually be a rapid cycler.  But I haven't seen a hypomania or normal state in a while.  My mania's are usually short lived its the mixed states that are dangerous with me, when I go into rages.  I haven't had any of those but this awful pit of my stomach deep dark feeling is getting old.  We'll see what the doc thinks this week...