notes
I don't know if this journal is necessary - but I'll go ahead with it.
I came home this morning after work and I had a 'rationale', an understanding of
where my intense energy was coming from and I felt like I could make good decisions
considering it and not becoming a casualty of it.
I fell asleep on the couch and had a good hour long nap - and then my Pop drove by and dropped
some things off. It was good to see him.
I'm feeling really without boundary right now - energy up and my hands feel sensitive, shaky.
I need to keep myself healthy for the coming weekend.
My little sister is getting married and I want to be healthy for her and N and I want to be there to
celebrate.
Sometimes I feel like I am getting a sense of how to understand and control myself and then I totally
loose my sense of well being and understanding.
I can't do shit right now and it's really frustrating.
I might leave a message for my therapist but I'll be seeing her online on Friday and I've been taxing her
with a lot of my needs lately as well.
Anyways, I hope you guys are doing well.
Sending peace and good thoughts,
Mark
Replies
My saltwater allergy keeps me from a deep kinship with the oceans, but I have benefited from meditating on my mood swings in visualizations of ocean waves and undertows. I got to experience that much of ocean life before my allergy forced me inland. Thinking of my mood swings in terms of waves, undertows, high and low tides has gone a long way toward helping me make peace with my turbulent innards.
Totally my loss that I don't get to explore oceans. The many inland wonders of the world are one hell of a compensation, but I still feel the loss. Thank life for documentaries. That is far too many wonders to ignore entirely.
Congrats on the new brother-in-law. May the circle prove worthy of growth.
Glad you had a good morning mark and got in a nice nap!
I hope the wedding will be a great celebration. I think the important thing to remember about events is you can always excuse yourself for a moment to go outside and get some fresh air for a moment.
Thanks guys. This ceremony will only have roughly 10 people there and then the big party will be next year. Very excited!
Gentle hug Mark.... It's great that you're venting on here and sorting out how you're feeling
I hope that you'll have a wonderful time at the wedding... I'm so glad that you're all being safe..... Big squishy hug....xo
thanks Jan!