note to start the day

Things are going ok.

I have a bit of a cold but I think the worst is over.

I'm at work now, waiting for it to start.

My therapist and I, last few sessions, were talking about community and attachments.

I've been feeling great attachment to my community. What's more is that I know I have to make my individual way in life. I think I might be getting to the point where I need to get back to working full time and so be supporting myself fully.

It's daunting but more so it's confronting me with the conundrum of what do I do, what can I do professionally?

Thinking for myself individually has always been a stumbling block.

in my life when I have tried to be self sufficient and motivated, I got very sick. I also have the issue of feeling the agency or right or even ability to know myself well enough to go for an employment of personal interest.

I have been awarded for my artwork but haven't developed that as a career. Perhaps because of fear but maybe also because of that I found it to not be so gratifying. That's an important distinction.

Having community and attachment is important and yet then we have to get up and make our way individually in life. Perhaps that's another aspect to appreciate in our humanity.

sending peace and good vibes.