note

with all the permutations of my being.

whether I feel in touch with my energy and vitality -

to a sense of confusion and weakness

to holding onto God in moments of need- 

to holding onto my work  as a state of pride and purpose

to thinking about religion and the cross section of it

from our parents' love

to our community of friends and schoolings of different faiths or manifestations of faith 

to our independence

all these things mixing around inside me - as with each

a different self in a way -

but where do I find my strength - and my truth -

maybe it has to do with finding that secret place that we or I submit to god within-

and yet keep fighting forward - for all the judgements or slander I can

experience or sense - my truth north can be found within. the true north

that has me standing firm and yet flexible in independent life

yet capitulating and humble at my own fallibility.

ultimately it has me reconcile with my health and humanity.