Not sure why...
... but today things to be bothering me a lot more. I guess it could just be depression... a dip in the emotional rollercoaster. It isn't overwhelming, but I certainly don't feel as positive as I did yesterday. Hopefully this is as bad as it gets. I need to remind myself... my wife only loved me, and only wanted me. The OM was just someone to talk to about stupid stuff. She didn't want the sexual aspect of their chats, and didn't really even desire him. Like her and I discussed last night... the thought of being with someone else physically just seems strange and uncomfortable. Sure, I can think about it in passing, but when I actually try to picture the act, that is where things get screwey.
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I wish my husband had felt the same way.
You are not alone in the dip though...I am there too... Let\'s party!!! Just kidding but maybe it made you smile for a sec. :-)
Keep hanging in there (like a cat) and maybe both of us will get through this.
Besides - Smile! It makes them wonder....
Okay...today is my day to encourage you. Today is my anniversary and we are headed away for the weekend. Sometimes, I feel like he\'s holding me differently or desires different things during our intimate moments. I can\'t help but to wonder if he\'s thinking about the things he discussed with her. Some things he is now asking me to do, that he didn\'t before...things he used to say that he didn\'t like, he enjoys now.
It just makes me realize that this journey is going to be lonnnnggggg...it took us a long time to get to this point and it\'s going to take just as long to get back to where we were...or better than we were.
HANG IN THERE! We are going to have bad days....when we realize that, it won\'t feel so awful when they present themselves. I hope that today was better for you! I also hope that I don\'t ruin my weekend by flipping out, which I have done in the past! (smile)
I\'m about to send you a hug....do something fun with your wife this weekend, but don\'t forget that you are the victim...I had to catch myself from doing too much this week!
Your online friend.....
Mauszer-
I understand. The holes that have been punched in that thing that sustains you (trust, soul, self, ego, however you define it) are letting her love, understanding, reassurance, and kind words drain out faster than they should. Hopefully she can continue to give you what you need while you heal knowing that this isn\'t forever but only temporary.