not sulblimating
Having Nina here, and being responsible for her has made me see how good it is to care about someone besides myself.
It's really tiring sometimes, like following after a two year old, I would imagine but it's made me see some honest things in my life. How empty it is - but that's something I need to follow up on- as I can hear my friend Seamus saying in my ear!! :) :)
With Nina here I have been cleaning the apartment more often out of necessity and also like -
Will write more later. Peace!
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It's like she awakened me to so many realities about life... I am a little panicked for how to sail my boat down different charts but I think that might be the case for everyone..maybe a bit. Sorry to wax so selfishly but my feelings are like a tsunami that seem to push me into nurturing and healing them rather than going for goals. I need to change that... and I need to get on the 'arife train' with those tools in the tool box that will help get me there! :)
One of the tools in my box is radical acceptance of my feelings, on their terms, especially when they come at me with tsunami force. 'Tis the nature of feelings to change and the change happens more smoothly when I don't fight them.
I'm also a fan of selfishness. I selfishly like to be surrounded by happy people and critters, so there is room for everybody in my selfishness. Equally, I find selfish motives are much easier to trust than martyr motives. Who knows what a martyr is hiding with their imitations of sainthood?
thanks arfie!!!