Not Sleeping Again
Last night I didn't fall asleep until after 1am, and I was up by 6am. I took some pills, and then around 9 I fell back asleep until about 10:30. The rest of the time I was just lying in bed waiting for me to fall back asleep again, but it didn't happen. I did manage to go for a walk today, and even jogged a bit. I was a bit hypomanic, well, more than a bit, but whatever. I'm coming down again from it, and when I got home from my walk I slept for 3 and a half hours. It's 9pm now and I'm pretty tired, I hope I can get some good sleep tonight. I know I need it.
Geo and I had a talk last night after my bath, and everything is okay with him. He was just feeling a bit weird so he went for a walk. Everything is good between us. We talked about the possibility of me going to the hospital, and he says it's going to happen, it's just a question of when. I don't really want to go for the most part, but there is part of me that does want to go for the attention. I know it's a horrible reason to want to go, and I do feel better about the attention thing today, but I know it's going to come back.
I talked to my sister about Medicaid and how I need to figure out stuff so I can get coverage for my therapy and medications. She says in CA there's a way that if you talk with a case worker you can get it figured out, so I will see about talking to one tomorrow. Once I'm done with this journal I'm going to look up how it works here in FL.
I ate a lot of food today, but I think I'm in my calorie range. I'm having stomach problems now, though, so I may have eaten something bad. I don't know what it could have been, I've eaten so much today. That's what happens when you are hypomanic, hungry and awake for a lot of the day. Well, I just did my calories and I'm under again. I don't understand. I've been eating all day, how can I be under on my calories? I've been eating crap, too... ramen, egg salad sandwich, oatmeal.... I think it was that I didn't have potatoes for dinner I had green beans instead that changed it. If my stomach pills kick in and I feel better, I have my other piece of chicken that will put me in my calorie range for the day. I guess you just never know, do you?
I'm leaving my mood as horrible since I feel like crap, and I just hope I can get some sleep tonight and go to the store tomorrow. That's my goal for the day- go to the store. I can go at anytime almost, so hopefully I can accomplish that.
Geo and I had a talk last night after my bath, and everything is okay with him. He was just feeling a bit weird so he went for a walk. Everything is good between us. We talked about the possibility of me going to the hospital, and he says it's going to happen, it's just a question of when. I don't really want to go for the most part, but there is part of me that does want to go for the attention. I know it's a horrible reason to want to go, and I do feel better about the attention thing today, but I know it's going to come back.
I talked to my sister about Medicaid and how I need to figure out stuff so I can get coverage for my therapy and medications. She says in CA there's a way that if you talk with a case worker you can get it figured out, so I will see about talking to one tomorrow. Once I'm done with this journal I'm going to look up how it works here in FL.
I ate a lot of food today, but I think I'm in my calorie range. I'm having stomach problems now, though, so I may have eaten something bad. I don't know what it could have been, I've eaten so much today. That's what happens when you are hypomanic, hungry and awake for a lot of the day. Well, I just did my calories and I'm under again. I don't understand. I've been eating all day, how can I be under on my calories? I've been eating crap, too... ramen, egg salad sandwich, oatmeal.... I think it was that I didn't have potatoes for dinner I had green beans instead that changed it. If my stomach pills kick in and I feel better, I have my other piece of chicken that will put me in my calorie range for the day. I guess you just never know, do you?
I'm leaving my mood as horrible since I feel like crap, and I just hope I can get some sleep tonight and go to the store tomorrow. That's my goal for the day- go to the store. I can go at anytime almost, so hopefully I can accomplish that.
Replies
I\'m glad you and Geo were able to talk and all is good between you. As far as the hospital goes, I don\'t like that place, they are not that nice there, and the attention you get is not good either, I don\'t think I would ever want to go back to the hospital again.You need to really think about the last time you were there and think hard about if you really want to go back or not.
I\'m glad you and Geo were able to talk and all is good between you. As far as the hospital goes, I don\'t like that place, they are not that nice there, and the attention you get is not good either, I don\'t think I would ever want to go back to the hospital again.You need to really think about the last time you were there and think hard about if you really want to go back or not.
good news about you and geo. why do you and geo think its going to be time for you to go to the hospital again? are the meds not keeping you enough under control so to speak? i have been IP for depression and anxietxy and suicadal thoughts quite a few times and i hated everytime. yes i got some better, but i really got better was when i went intensive OP day program and a lot of therapy, years. larissa, you can get attention in a far better way, why does the hospital make you feel your getting attention, from whom? take care of yourself and i hope you sleep.