Not Okay But Trying To Be.
Well I had my breast ultrasound and mammogram it went well all they saw was a cyst but nothing to worry about. So thats good!
BUT...I am still fatigued, and it is not just being tired it is fatigue. Everything takes twice as much energy as it should. Even exercising which I have been doing faithfully for a couple of years now tires me out rather then energizes me, which it used to.
I have been having a lot more acid reflux which for me tends to be fairly painless unless it is really bad so it mostly feels like my food keeps coming back into my esphogus. When I had the barium swallow done last year the guy did say that little flappy thing that is supposed to keep the food and acid in my stomach tends to open and let that stuff out. So I have started taking a 14 day regime of prilosec I hope it takes care of it. I have been having trouble breathing as well and I am hoping that it is caused by the acid reflux.
Althought my brain wants to say it is some form of lung cancer and NOT just that but that it is from some sort of cancer in another spot in my body and has spread to my lungs and therefore it will be much to late for me when they finally find it.
I still have the stomach/intestine pain that I had last year that lead me to have both the barium swallow and the barium enema. Both said I was fine although I still have pain. So I don't know!
Sometimes I think my fatigue must be hormonal, although all my bloodwork came back normal. I was for sure it was going to be anemia or thyroid. Both came back with-in normal levels. Although the doc only did TSH not the T3 or T4 which I have heard is more acquite.
Back to it being hormonal, I wonder if my levels are off but if they were would I still be testing normal? The reason I think they might be hormonal is because my hair has majorly thinned ou,t not to the point where I have bald patches but to the point where it is noticably thinner. Also sometimes it can be very dull and lifeless, so I think something is out of wack. But I am only 35 and so it can't be menopause also my periods hav'nt been messing up.
I was reading through some old journals and they are both uplifting and depressing. Uplifting because they help me remember some symptoms of my anxiety. Like how my mouth/jaw muscles get sore when I am anxious. So that is good because it was starting to freak me out. But it is also depressing because some of the things that I thought back then I am still thinking like I haven't made any progress in the 5 years that I have been on here.
Is there anything else? I am hoping that if I can right about everything that is bothering me it will make it easier to bear. I do want to go back to the doctor because my fatigue is not getting any better, if anything, thanks to my anxiety and not being able to sleep it has gotten worse. I will not be able to go back to my doctor until maybe friday because we will have money enough to pay the co-pay. If I can't get in on Friday then I would have to wait until the following thursday because we are supposed to go camping sunday-wed which sounded good back in january when we planned it but not just sounds stressful and tiring. BUT the kids will love it so I shouldn't complain!
I just want to feel normal again and not have this fatigue because it leads my brain down paths I never wanted to visit again ever! Please Lord help me to make the correct decisions. And please heal me!
BUT...I am still fatigued, and it is not just being tired it is fatigue. Everything takes twice as much energy as it should. Even exercising which I have been doing faithfully for a couple of years now tires me out rather then energizes me, which it used to.
I have been having a lot more acid reflux which for me tends to be fairly painless unless it is really bad so it mostly feels like my food keeps coming back into my esphogus. When I had the barium swallow done last year the guy did say that little flappy thing that is supposed to keep the food and acid in my stomach tends to open and let that stuff out. So I have started taking a 14 day regime of prilosec I hope it takes care of it. I have been having trouble breathing as well and I am hoping that it is caused by the acid reflux.
Althought my brain wants to say it is some form of lung cancer and NOT just that but that it is from some sort of cancer in another spot in my body and has spread to my lungs and therefore it will be much to late for me when they finally find it.
I still have the stomach/intestine pain that I had last year that lead me to have both the barium swallow and the barium enema. Both said I was fine although I still have pain. So I don't know!
Sometimes I think my fatigue must be hormonal, although all my bloodwork came back normal. I was for sure it was going to be anemia or thyroid. Both came back with-in normal levels. Although the doc only did TSH not the T3 or T4 which I have heard is more acquite.
Back to it being hormonal, I wonder if my levels are off but if they were would I still be testing normal? The reason I think they might be hormonal is because my hair has majorly thinned ou,t not to the point where I have bald patches but to the point where it is noticably thinner. Also sometimes it can be very dull and lifeless, so I think something is out of wack. But I am only 35 and so it can't be menopause also my periods hav'nt been messing up.
I was reading through some old journals and they are both uplifting and depressing. Uplifting because they help me remember some symptoms of my anxiety. Like how my mouth/jaw muscles get sore when I am anxious. So that is good because it was starting to freak me out. But it is also depressing because some of the things that I thought back then I am still thinking like I haven't made any progress in the 5 years that I have been on here.
Is there anything else? I am hoping that if I can right about everything that is bothering me it will make it easier to bear. I do want to go back to the doctor because my fatigue is not getting any better, if anything, thanks to my anxiety and not being able to sleep it has gotten worse. I will not be able to go back to my doctor until maybe friday because we will have money enough to pay the co-pay. If I can't get in on Friday then I would have to wait until the following thursday because we are supposed to go camping sunday-wed which sounded good back in january when we planned it but not just sounds stressful and tiring. BUT the kids will love it so I shouldn't complain!
I just want to feel normal again and not have this fatigue because it leads my brain down paths I never wanted to visit again ever! Please Lord help me to make the correct decisions. And please heal me!
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