Not letting myself get comfortable...
This past weekend has been better than the past week. My wife and I are getting along and I feel that things are still trending upwards, but I'm not letting myself get complacent. This doesn't change the fact that I have a problem that I am still in the process of correcting. Just because we are getting along better the past couple of days, doesn't mean the problem just goes away.
I'm still making sure that I am taking account for my thoughts and actions throughout the day. I am still going to be hard on myself through this. I keep reminding myself that courage is not being free of fear, but conquering your fears and pushing forward. My fear of confrontation will always be there, but it's how I handle those situations that will make all the difference.
This is a pivotal point in the recovery process that I cannot let go by the way side. It has to be positive from here on out no matter what. Wednesday, we have an appointment with a counselor. I think this will be good for our marriage and it will be good for me and my recovery. The therapy that I have received in the past hasn't done a whole lot to get me better. I've needed a push and my past therapist's style was more of a listening approach and let me vent about my life. There wasn't much feedback and I think having my wife by my side will push me hard. I never want to lose or disappoint her. I love her with all my being. She's everything to me. The thought of her happy with me makes me grin ear to ear. It really makes me wonder why I would ever do her wrong before. The stupid little lies that hurt her. I ask myself, "was it worth it?!?!". The love of your life is so upset because you were a dumbass and acted out of fear. I'm standing up, being a loving husband, and showing her the love I have for her each an every day for the rest of my life.
I'm still making sure that I am taking account for my thoughts and actions throughout the day. I am still going to be hard on myself through this. I keep reminding myself that courage is not being free of fear, but conquering your fears and pushing forward. My fear of confrontation will always be there, but it's how I handle those situations that will make all the difference.
This is a pivotal point in the recovery process that I cannot let go by the way side. It has to be positive from here on out no matter what. Wednesday, we have an appointment with a counselor. I think this will be good for our marriage and it will be good for me and my recovery. The therapy that I have received in the past hasn't done a whole lot to get me better. I've needed a push and my past therapist's style was more of a listening approach and let me vent about my life. There wasn't much feedback and I think having my wife by my side will push me hard. I never want to lose or disappoint her. I love her with all my being. She's everything to me. The thought of her happy with me makes me grin ear to ear. It really makes me wonder why I would ever do her wrong before. The stupid little lies that hurt her. I ask myself, "was it worth it?!?!". The love of your life is so upset because you were a dumbass and acted out of fear. I'm standing up, being a loving husband, and showing her the love I have for her each an every day for the rest of my life.
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