Not Lazy Today
Today I got a bunch of stuff done. I cleaned the bathroom pretty well.. Geo shaves and cuts his hair in there so there were little snippets of hair everywhere that I had to clean. I've been pretty lax about cleaning it up, but I'm glad it's done until the next time he cuts his hair in a month. I got the toilet cleaned and bleached, and scrubbed the tub a bit. Our bathroom was disgusting, and now it's just dirty. I wish it could be considered clean, but there's so much more work I have to do on it before I can call it that. I also cleaned the kitchen a bit.... cleaned off counters and put food away and wiped down the counters. The stove was cleaned a couple of days ago, so that didn't need to be done. Overall, I think I did a lot for someone who isn't feeling too well. My cough is worse today, but it's still not bad. I think I should be able to make it to work on Monday. I don't know what time I'm going to go in yet, whether it's going to be noon or 2pm, but I should be able to make it in. I need to have a talk with my bosses. I didn't get a chance on Thursday, but I should be able to on Monday.
I just don't know what I'm going to tell them... that I'm getting depressed and that I'm going to be spotty for a while? I know I don't need to go to the hospital yet. I'm trying my hardest to stay out, since I want to be able to have a job and I can't be going to the hospital all the time if I'm trying to work. I went to the hospital 3 times last year and that's too much. Granted, it was for medication changes more than being suicidal, but still. It's too much. I'm just glad that I don't have to pay for it. The Department of Children and Families paid for it for me. I don't know how I got chosen for it, but I guess every time I go to the hospital at the clinic it's free for me. I don't know how long that's going to last for, but I don't want to test it.
I think I was a bit hypomanic today from my mixed episode, so I was feeling pretty good today. I don't know how I'm going to feel tomorrow, but we will see. We still have the car, and we need to go grocery shopping a bit more, so hopefully we can do that tomorrow. I think we have the car until Monday. I didn't feel bad while cleaning... I just wish that I could have music while I cleaned. I can't wait until I get my new phone and can use it's mp3 player to play music while I clean. I have a phone with an mp3 player, but it doesn't work anymore. I don't know if I could have done more cleaning if I had music, I just know it would have made me feel better. I took some breaks to rest my back. Scrubbing the toilet is hard work in my house.
Sleep last night was good. I managed to talk on the phone until I was ready to go to sleep, and that helped out a lot. I slept from about 11pm to 1pm, so I got 14 hours. I woke up at 1 ready to go. I didn't think I was going to sleep that late, but I did and it was nice. I did spend a lot of time in bed today, resting my back from all that cleaning. But I did get the house looking a bit better. I need to work on the living room next. I don't want to do that tonight since I don't want to get myself all worked up when I need to be thinking about sleep. I didn't have to take any sleeping pills last night, so that was good too. I slept almost the whole night through, except for a couple bathroom breaks. I haven't been drinking my water like I should be, especially today, but I still have to go to the bathroom all the time. I guess it's because I do drink a lot of other drinks. I had 2 cups of coffee today, for example. Coffee makes you have to pee.
Food today so far has been bad. Yesterday I was way over my calories, and today and the day before yesterday I have been low on my calories. I'm thinking about eating some chips and dip that I got at the store yesterday since I'm so low. I don't quite understand. I had cookies and coffee for breakfast, chocolate mousse yogurt for lunch, and fried chicken and mashed potatoes for dinner. I guess since I eat the chicken skinless it's better, but still. You would think that I'm in my calorie range with all that, but it's only 1100 calories. I'm thinking about getting into the chips and dip to get me into the 1,300 range. I weighed myself today and I'm at 227.5, so I gained weight this week. I think it's because I ate so low on calories and then went and binged yesterday. Today I had thoughts of purging the cookies, but I managed to keep it down. It wasn't too hard... those thoughts are easier to deal with as time goes on.
I just don't know what I'm going to tell them... that I'm getting depressed and that I'm going to be spotty for a while? I know I don't need to go to the hospital yet. I'm trying my hardest to stay out, since I want to be able to have a job and I can't be going to the hospital all the time if I'm trying to work. I went to the hospital 3 times last year and that's too much. Granted, it was for medication changes more than being suicidal, but still. It's too much. I'm just glad that I don't have to pay for it. The Department of Children and Families paid for it for me. I don't know how I got chosen for it, but I guess every time I go to the hospital at the clinic it's free for me. I don't know how long that's going to last for, but I don't want to test it.
I think I was a bit hypomanic today from my mixed episode, so I was feeling pretty good today. I don't know how I'm going to feel tomorrow, but we will see. We still have the car, and we need to go grocery shopping a bit more, so hopefully we can do that tomorrow. I think we have the car until Monday. I didn't feel bad while cleaning... I just wish that I could have music while I cleaned. I can't wait until I get my new phone and can use it's mp3 player to play music while I clean. I have a phone with an mp3 player, but it doesn't work anymore. I don't know if I could have done more cleaning if I had music, I just know it would have made me feel better. I took some breaks to rest my back. Scrubbing the toilet is hard work in my house.
Sleep last night was good. I managed to talk on the phone until I was ready to go to sleep, and that helped out a lot. I slept from about 11pm to 1pm, so I got 14 hours. I woke up at 1 ready to go. I didn't think I was going to sleep that late, but I did and it was nice. I did spend a lot of time in bed today, resting my back from all that cleaning. But I did get the house looking a bit better. I need to work on the living room next. I don't want to do that tonight since I don't want to get myself all worked up when I need to be thinking about sleep. I didn't have to take any sleeping pills last night, so that was good too. I slept almost the whole night through, except for a couple bathroom breaks. I haven't been drinking my water like I should be, especially today, but I still have to go to the bathroom all the time. I guess it's because I do drink a lot of other drinks. I had 2 cups of coffee today, for example. Coffee makes you have to pee.
Food today so far has been bad. Yesterday I was way over my calories, and today and the day before yesterday I have been low on my calories. I'm thinking about eating some chips and dip that I got at the store yesterday since I'm so low. I don't quite understand. I had cookies and coffee for breakfast, chocolate mousse yogurt for lunch, and fried chicken and mashed potatoes for dinner. I guess since I eat the chicken skinless it's better, but still. You would think that I'm in my calorie range with all that, but it's only 1100 calories. I'm thinking about getting into the chips and dip to get me into the 1,300 range. I weighed myself today and I'm at 227.5, so I gained weight this week. I think it's because I ate so low on calories and then went and binged yesterday. Today I had thoughts of purging the cookies, but I managed to keep it down. It wasn't too hard... those thoughts are easier to deal with as time goes on.
Replies
Wow you got alot accomplished today wish i could say the same... so many things need done around my house and my energy just feels totally gone with all the stress right now. Hope your cough gets better before you have to work it sucks to work when youre not feeling good. Im the same way with music im so much more productive with it and makes me feel better.
awesome cleaning day! i always feel better when i get smething accomplished in the house, and i agree, music is a big help. i just use my radio. i hope you can go into work and if you feel like you can talk to your boss about the depression, i would, you dont need to go into detail, just enough so he knows when you cant come in. by the way, those hairs would drive me mad, have geo clean up after himself.