Not in a good place
I am home and I feel worse here than I did near school. My Dad is here, my Mom is still convalescing and I am a mess. I am holding on for Tuesday when I see my pdoc. I am not going to lie to her, I think I should go to the hospital, but maybe by then I will be more rational. It's not like I WANT to go to the hospital, but I think maybe a break from everything could be good. Maybe being in group and meeting with a therapist might help. I don't know. Right now, I can fight back the urge to give it all up. I really don't want to fight this anymore, but I have the strength to sort of fake it. We'll see. I'm just exhausted I don't want to do this anymore, and I can't see any future for myself, but I'm not ready to die just yet. I am totally lost.