No title needed for this Part 2

Damn I wish I could have a few good days back to back, maybe just for this week!
1. I am tired- so everything I do will be a struggle, then I will be annoyed. Fact!
2. I am still trying to do everything(including this) and I am getting more & more tired.
3. I have a lot do so being tired really does not matter, I have a school deadline and a sick child!!!
4. And this is just a bonus, I do not think my daughter loves/like me. Idk why? My mother is not here anymore and I know I want my relationship with my daughter to be better MORE now because of this FACT!!
1a. I am taking too many sleeping aids and I am not getting "real" sleep. I have not had a "good night" rest since the gun shot night.
1b. I have not really enjoyed myself since either, (pause for thinking), it is taking a lot of me lately to put on makeup and smile. I am worn out by end of day. Today was the worse, because I do not think that I slept last night and my job required too much of my energy.
5. I have not told anyone at my job about my son getting shot. I am ashamed and I know it is not his fault or mine. But I am black, I live in a bad area that is commonly known for this sort of thing. I don't want a lot of Insensitive questions and  pity stares, like with my mother's sickness. However, I am asking my job, manager and coworker to be patient with my constant absences. Idk what to do?!

good night.

Replies

donnawanda
donnawanda

Sorry for all you\'re going through. About your daughter, I don\'t know how old she is but in my experience all teenage girls don\'t like their mothers for a while. And then they do - they love us. But it\'s tempting to put a lot of pressure on the relationship because she\'s a woman, and you want that mother-comfort from her.

I\'m really sorry you\'re going through so much. Sending you a big, motherly hug.