No title needed for this
I wish we could select several entries for Journal entries.
Anyway, I wanted to keep myself focused and positive because last week was slight hell.
This I know is true, I am definitely BP and I should be on meds, however even if I wanted to my new job is now performing some sort of medical examines. That's a long story....
Next, I miss my Mother a lot and those feelings, emotions and thoughts never leave no matter what other people may think. It feels like I am carrying around a weight on my neck and heart.
Another point is I do not like to car pool with my co-worker she is working my nerves with all of her TALKING!! I want to say something( I would if this was not work related) but gas price and distance keep me from saying anything. I have made every subtle suggestions I could make without Screaming "shut the F**K UP, IT 7 in the morning!!" . She starting talking as she is walking to the car and does not shut up until I drop her off in the evening. I should add she works EXACTLY next to me, no cube wall or buffer, yikes!! So I am with her more than I am with my kids!!! I have prayed and prayed for patience, grace and understanding, however I noticed that when we ride together I am not pleasant or peaceful, my "energy" is thrown of balance. IDK what to do about this?!?
Next my kids: oldest one is not working and I am always concerned about his well-being as an adult. he is not becoming very productive, I do often blame the divorce on his outcome. my middle child is shy, slick, reserved, working my nerves, an angel and anything else I cannot remember( a girl of course). I am not complaining too much about her but since my Mother is not here, I would hope that our relationship would have improve. I want it to but she does not. IDK. And last but not least, my 13 year old baby, he is good. His grades need to improve. He is a mix between the two.
This leads to my love life, It does not exist so there is not much to say. I want to get remarried. I don't want a "boyfriend", in one day and out the other, NO. Marriage, Period. These guys now days do not want that. I am too picky.
I forgot school, well that is too long to discuss... maybe tmmw.
Anyway, I wanted to keep myself focused and positive because last week was slight hell.
This I know is true, I am definitely BP and I should be on meds, however even if I wanted to my new job is now performing some sort of medical examines. That's a long story....
Next, I miss my Mother a lot and those feelings, emotions and thoughts never leave no matter what other people may think. It feels like I am carrying around a weight on my neck and heart.
Another point is I do not like to car pool with my co-worker she is working my nerves with all of her TALKING!! I want to say something( I would if this was not work related) but gas price and distance keep me from saying anything. I have made every subtle suggestions I could make without Screaming "shut the F**K UP, IT 7 in the morning!!" . She starting talking as she is walking to the car and does not shut up until I drop her off in the evening. I should add she works EXACTLY next to me, no cube wall or buffer, yikes!! So I am with her more than I am with my kids!!! I have prayed and prayed for patience, grace and understanding, however I noticed that when we ride together I am not pleasant or peaceful, my "energy" is thrown of balance. IDK what to do about this?!?
Next my kids: oldest one is not working and I am always concerned about his well-being as an adult. he is not becoming very productive, I do often blame the divorce on his outcome. my middle child is shy, slick, reserved, working my nerves, an angel and anything else I cannot remember( a girl of course). I am not complaining too much about her but since my Mother is not here, I would hope that our relationship would have improve. I want it to but she does not. IDK. And last but not least, my 13 year old baby, he is good. His grades need to improve. He is a mix between the two.
This leads to my love life, It does not exist so there is not much to say. I want to get remarried. I don't want a "boyfriend", in one day and out the other, NO. Marriage, Period. These guys now days do not want that. I am too picky.
I forgot school, well that is too long to discuss... maybe tmmw.
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