No one else quite like my husband 1 in 1 million

There is no one quite like my husband Smokey who was one in one million.  It makes me sad to think that when I am ready, not just yet, that there is no one else like my late-husband.  Smokey always told me when he is dead and I am still alive, for me to find someone else.  There are mighty big shoes to fill.  There will never be another Smokey.  There are so many good qualities that Smokey had and so many things we had in common.  I miss each and everyone thing for the good and bad in Smokey.  You live with the enormous hole in your heart.  It's the pain the seems so unbearable at times but we will have to live with it as well.  They say time is the best healer.  Hmmm.....!  I am passed the 3 month mark and I am still crying but not as much as I did at first.  I carry the pain in my heart around each and every day.  There is not a moment that I don't feel the pain in my heart.  I can be laughing but the pain is still inside my heart.  If your mind doesn't remember, your body remembers and it lets you know.  At times, I wish I could drink myself to oblivion but I do not.  Unfortunately about booze is that the next day the pain is still wtih you.  There is no solution for the pain in your heart.  I wish I didn't have to go on without Smokey but each day I wake up in the morning and I am still here.  Rats!  This is one journey you have to go alone, feel it alone, bear it alone and carry it alone.  No one can take  your place or walk in your exact shoes.  This grief and mourning is a solo act.  People can share in your grief but you are the only one to feel what you are feeling.