No matter what I feel

No matter what I think, no matter what I want, no matter what I feel, you won't be coming back. I can wish and cry till hell freezes over and nothing I can do will change the fact you are gone my love. I miss you immensely. I have so lost the love of my life and never will see you again in this life. I have a hard time accepting that. I know I have to but I don't have to like it. Sometimes I think I am doing better but not tonight. I miss holding you, talking to you touching you. I'm sitting here with tears flowing down my face thinking of what could have been. I wish I could have said goodbye. I wish we new how short of time we had left together. Regrets are very painful and I know I shouldn't hold them but its hard to let go. I know we had a good life and loved each other unconditionally.  We were trulely soulmates and I guess that's why it's so hard. I know you were so scared when you found out you had cancer. I tried to make you feel better and told you we would beat this together, but I feel I let you down. We didn't beat it. It took you from me. God I hate cancer.  I'm no longer scared when it is my time to pass. I know you will be waiting for me and I will be thankful to see and hold you once again. I look forward to the day when we can be together again.