no loa

i want to try to keep this posted for awhile for me i guess as my world changes again ,lord how i hate this e ,went to the neurologist ,arugument issued over $15.00 i didnt want to pay for a loa paper since i was there felt it should be free ,glad my husband was with me ,dr throwd papers in floor and yelled he wouldnt fill them out  if his time  wasnt worth  15.oo  .   i have good insurance and pay a large amount out of pocket each  visit and told him this ,that i work for wal mart .got paper next day ----with 15 charge in CASH .paper filled out by nurse in a way signed by dr. that states szs are completly controleed and i can do everthing --no limitations ...o lord there are to  the registers i was on them and the stress caused me to have some major  problems ,i dont need to have to to loose my job and i know i will as i cant function on regester.paper states i should only have to miss if i have a sz .which are under control, this is  why i nee to keep a note --------------------------------------------------     10/-10/09  i woke  up knowing i wasnt  really on top of it ,crying a lot ,my stomach had woke me up several times in the night hurting so bad ,this is always been a warning of mine to slow careful.didnt think i should go to work as the waves started to hit ,they had started the day before at work but light enough to push away.but i couldnt miss walmart only allows 3 days in 6 months and i had had migrains and had left early one night ,dr. excuses not i cried and told my husband i have to buck up and stop whinying and  get over this ,,but i am lonely and so tired ,cant turn paper in  as i would be put on  regester and loose my job ,yet  i feel i am sinking without a perserver to grasp.i still think we need a yellow man with tears  running down your face .