NO CONTROL

I feel like I don't have control of this crazy addiction; it's so frustrating I just want to be RID of it.  I know the only way to stop is just to STOP.  Never thought it would be so difficult.  I just set a new goal of not gambling for one month; I plan to come here daily to reinforce my commitment through all of your stories.  How we ever got "cursed" wtih this I'll never know, but I HATE IT.  Plan to stay out of the casino and again find alternatives.  Even though I set a month-long goal, I will THINK One Day at a time. Hope you are all well and staying GF. Take care,Smokeygirl 

Replies

DianneE
DianneE

The thing that seemed hardest to accept for me was that I was not in control of gambling . I tried all kinds of things, and was not able to gamble \" normally.\". Finally accepting that was what happened that made it possible for me to stop. There is no way I can gamble recreationally and that accepting that is why I\'m not in a casino right now! Hugs, Dianne
smokeygirl
smokeygirl

Thank you both so much - - what you say is so TRUE- -really, I know it logically but I have refused to accept the lack of control thing - kept \"trying\" and finding reasons and rationalizations - well, it\'s all BS and I know it, deep down in side. I have to admit defeat . . . for those of us that have been used to getting what we want, being in control, and they always say a master of our destiny, well I just couldn\'t turn myself into a person that can gamble responsibily - all of the rationalizations in the world don\'t make it different. It is what it is - and like you say, Eastwester - the reasons are not important . . trying to find them out only delays the whole process. Thanks again for your words of wisdom - today is already day two and the depression is beginning to lift a little and there is hope.
Take care,
Smokeygirl
SheliaMac
SheliaMac

Smokeygirl-- your words sparked something in my mind. Control. Getting what I want. Master of my destiny. I have always prided myself of being \"in control\", independent and self reliant. If I wanted something, I got it. Whether I could afford it or not. In my mind I think I can do this on my own, because that is what I am used to. Doing everything on my own, not relying on help. It\'s hard to put in words, I just have to relinquish control and accept the fact that I have no control when it comes to gambling. I like what \"Eastwester\" said... For some reason though, when I get the thought of gambling in my head, its there. Usually do not try to talk myself out of it, have never just told myself NO. I am just having a hard time accepting the fact that I can NEVER gamble again. I guess that\'s where the one day at a time comes in. I will keep trying and you do the same. There is a great bunch of people in this group, they inspire me (even though I don\'t follow advice very well). Glad your here...