Nine months post-op and still got an open wound.
It's been nine full months since the original breast-reduction surgery, and I still have an open wound from it. A rather large one, that shows absolutely no sign of ever growing skin back. It's not infected, there's no medical reason for it whatsoever, I'm eating all the right stuff - it just won't finish healing over!
So, today, I spoke with the surgeon, and politely insisted on moving ahead with the completion of the surgery - removal of the remaining breast tissue and restructuring my chest to look more masculine. He insists on waiting for another 3 months - a complete year since the original surgery - and has reluctantly tentatively agreed to perform the surgery in order to FINALLY close the wound then. He's bringing in another surgeon to do the actual work on me this time - a female surgeon I've met and been seen by a few times in his absence. I'm hoping she will be able to understand when I explain that I want to have a masculine chest - not the dished-in look of a total masectomy, but something resembling pectorals.
On another, less frustrating note, I have been using the men's restrooms when out in public, and thus far, no problems. It is becoming rare for anyone to refer to me as "ma'am", and more common to hear "sir". I'm puzzled why, with my obvious dark, thick, longish beard - and growing mustache - why some service people still insist on calling me "ma'am", when non-service people (whom I don't know) see me as male. I don't know. I let it slide - no sense getting upset or making a scene over it. I just tend to tip a LOT less when the waitstaff call me "Ma'am" than I do when they call me "Sir". Especially when it's the same waiter/waitress on a different day. Maybe they'll get the hint.
So, my beginning to use T has been delayed for at least 4 more months - until I recover and heal from the next surgery. I think it's being overly cautious; but I'm trying to be patient about it. Meanwhile, my body continues to look more masculine bit by bit as my facial hair continues to grow in more and more, and my voice continues to drop a little lower every week - WITHOUT being on T, just from the lack of female hormones. Every once in a while - becoming more common as time goes on - I get hit with a wave of aggression - usually in the form of held-in-check-rage.
I got my new suit altered - so now it fits correctly. I put it on, and I look exactly like any other average guy in a suit. I still need to loose weight, and am working on it in a healthy way - not dieting, as such, but adjusting my diet to include more healthy choices than before. And adding in mega doses of vitamin D-3, to boost my metabolism and fat-burning. I lost another 2 pounds this week by doing that. It may be slow weight loss, but it's steady, and done in a way that won't cause myself harm.
This month, I'm starting to spend 5 to 10 minutes a day just dancing - in private - to upbeat music. Call it exercise, whatever - I call it celebrating. It helps me reaffirm my decision to transition, burn off frustrations, and get in some mild aerobic exercise. I need to move more, so I am. It helps me feel better. I'm also starting a raised bed garden - vegetables, herbs, and a few flowers. Just something to do outside, without any really heavy lifting... since my surgeon won't allow me to lift more than 8 pounds yet - after 9 months of recovery.
Sick of being stuck in Limbo. Feeling like I've been forced to waste an entire year!
(Be patient,... be polite,....)
The surgeon's just being cautious because he can't find a reason for my wound not healing over. I think it's just a case of disphoria; I never wanted boobs, so when he left some behind, of course it didn't heal up. He isn't sure; but knows there isn't a medical reason for it. I say let's get rid of them, stitch it closed, and watch it all heal up! He says,... but what if it doesn't heal?. I say, it's my choice to get this done - and the wound needs to be sewn shut so it WILL heal - so let's do this. If it doesn't heal, maybe we'll discover why, and be able to fix it.
Hard to keep on waiting, when the labwork all comes back showing no reason for the lack of healing. I'm healthy, every OTHER cut, scrape, puncture, etc. I've had SINCE the surgery 9 months ago has healed just fine; so why hasn't this wound? No answer from the medical end of things - must be something in the mind-body connection that's preventing it. Ergo, my thoughts about it being due to gender disphoria. Try convincing a surgeon of that.
Meanwhile, .... my gender-specialist is moving to somewhere far away later this month. I'm going to ask her to send me to someone else she's trained in the area to continue my treatment and do the paperwork for me - unless she'll do the paperwork before she leaves. I'm hoping she'll go ahead and do the paperwork before leaving.
I'd hate having to start all over again there.
I'm doing fine out in public - I introduce myself as Joe, dress as a man, use the men's room, etc. - and have tracked down a barber shop near where I live now.
The Department of Social Services has cut my foodstamps from $200.00 a month to $98.00 a month. I was barely getting by on $200.00; how am I to survive on less than half of that?! I'm appealing it. Not holding my breath, but appealing it.
Well, other than missing my furry friends - still got to get them moved to my new address - that's been about it.
Being careful every time I go into the men's room; just in case there's some intolerant people around.
Thank goodness for the series Discovery Health Channel is doing on Transgender people and transitioning - they are running a series about the transitional surgeries in a hospital that specializes in doing sex-change surgeries.
So, today, I spoke with the surgeon, and politely insisted on moving ahead with the completion of the surgery - removal of the remaining breast tissue and restructuring my chest to look more masculine. He insists on waiting for another 3 months - a complete year since the original surgery - and has reluctantly tentatively agreed to perform the surgery in order to FINALLY close the wound then. He's bringing in another surgeon to do the actual work on me this time - a female surgeon I've met and been seen by a few times in his absence. I'm hoping she will be able to understand when I explain that I want to have a masculine chest - not the dished-in look of a total masectomy, but something resembling pectorals.
On another, less frustrating note, I have been using the men's restrooms when out in public, and thus far, no problems. It is becoming rare for anyone to refer to me as "ma'am", and more common to hear "sir". I'm puzzled why, with my obvious dark, thick, longish beard - and growing mustache - why some service people still insist on calling me "ma'am", when non-service people (whom I don't know) see me as male. I don't know. I let it slide - no sense getting upset or making a scene over it. I just tend to tip a LOT less when the waitstaff call me "Ma'am" than I do when they call me "Sir". Especially when it's the same waiter/waitress on a different day. Maybe they'll get the hint.
So, my beginning to use T has been delayed for at least 4 more months - until I recover and heal from the next surgery. I think it's being overly cautious; but I'm trying to be patient about it. Meanwhile, my body continues to look more masculine bit by bit as my facial hair continues to grow in more and more, and my voice continues to drop a little lower every week - WITHOUT being on T, just from the lack of female hormones. Every once in a while - becoming more common as time goes on - I get hit with a wave of aggression - usually in the form of held-in-check-rage.
I got my new suit altered - so now it fits correctly. I put it on, and I look exactly like any other average guy in a suit. I still need to loose weight, and am working on it in a healthy way - not dieting, as such, but adjusting my diet to include more healthy choices than before. And adding in mega doses of vitamin D-3, to boost my metabolism and fat-burning. I lost another 2 pounds this week by doing that. It may be slow weight loss, but it's steady, and done in a way that won't cause myself harm.
This month, I'm starting to spend 5 to 10 minutes a day just dancing - in private - to upbeat music. Call it exercise, whatever - I call it celebrating. It helps me reaffirm my decision to transition, burn off frustrations, and get in some mild aerobic exercise. I need to move more, so I am. It helps me feel better. I'm also starting a raised bed garden - vegetables, herbs, and a few flowers. Just something to do outside, without any really heavy lifting... since my surgeon won't allow me to lift more than 8 pounds yet - after 9 months of recovery.
Sick of being stuck in Limbo. Feeling like I've been forced to waste an entire year!
(Be patient,... be polite,....)
The surgeon's just being cautious because he can't find a reason for my wound not healing over. I think it's just a case of disphoria; I never wanted boobs, so when he left some behind, of course it didn't heal up. He isn't sure; but knows there isn't a medical reason for it. I say let's get rid of them, stitch it closed, and watch it all heal up! He says,... but what if it doesn't heal?. I say, it's my choice to get this done - and the wound needs to be sewn shut so it WILL heal - so let's do this. If it doesn't heal, maybe we'll discover why, and be able to fix it.
Hard to keep on waiting, when the labwork all comes back showing no reason for the lack of healing. I'm healthy, every OTHER cut, scrape, puncture, etc. I've had SINCE the surgery 9 months ago has healed just fine; so why hasn't this wound? No answer from the medical end of things - must be something in the mind-body connection that's preventing it. Ergo, my thoughts about it being due to gender disphoria. Try convincing a surgeon of that.
Meanwhile, .... my gender-specialist is moving to somewhere far away later this month. I'm going to ask her to send me to someone else she's trained in the area to continue my treatment and do the paperwork for me - unless she'll do the paperwork before she leaves. I'm hoping she'll go ahead and do the paperwork before leaving.
I'd hate having to start all over again there.
I'm doing fine out in public - I introduce myself as Joe, dress as a man, use the men's room, etc. - and have tracked down a barber shop near where I live now.
The Department of Social Services has cut my foodstamps from $200.00 a month to $98.00 a month. I was barely getting by on $200.00; how am I to survive on less than half of that?! I'm appealing it. Not holding my breath, but appealing it.
Well, other than missing my furry friends - still got to get them moved to my new address - that's been about it.
Being careful every time I go into the men's room; just in case there's some intolerant people around.
Thank goodness for the series Discovery Health Channel is doing on Transgender people and transitioning - they are running a series about the transitional surgeries in a hospital that specializes in doing sex-change surgeries.
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